h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am sitting here with the inside of my mouth tingling from having a bread and cheese lunch with two really mature cheddars and a couple of really tasty blues. And some nice beer.

I was poking through H2G2 and was drawn towards cheese entries and then ended up following my nose around the web as you do.

I ended up encountering the idea of 'American Cheese' - which seems to be American, but probably not cheese.

I remembered once reading a cheese slice packet and noticing that it's contents were described as 'Cheese Food'. Not cheese then. And probably only food in as much as it can be eaten. There are lots of thing you could eat if you HAD to. Like a tree for instance.

So I am drawn to ask. Eh? Why?

Black Bomber, Wyfe of Bath, Blacksticks Blue and Cashel Blue anyone? Or would you rather a wedge of the Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product?

PP

I do admit that much as I like the good stuff I also have a weakness for what I call plastic cheese - those cheese slices that have no function other than to put next to a burger to make it stick to the bun and then the roof of your mouth.

I also hear that the EU - back in the good old "straight banana" days - once decided that American Chocolate had so much milk solids and so little cocoa in it that it was actually "cheese". The mind boggles. Hershey and Crackers anyone?

I'd be very surprised if that was the case.

I don't know, these were the people who re-classified carrots as a fruit so you could make jam out of them.

I have no idea if that's true or not, admittedly, hearing it on Have I Got News For You does not a truth make. I can't decide whether that's fortunate or not.

*wanders off into a bizarre rice pudding filled sugar-high*

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese would be nothing without "Cheese Food". Oh, wait...

Having seen pictures of blocks of this stuff in teh interwebs, I can't imagine even thinking of using it.

Is it available in the UK or is it a controlled substance?

PP

The most famous form of "cheese food" is called Velveeta, which is probably the blocky substance you saw a picture of. Don't know if it's available over the pond, but it's a Kraft product.

Me too, but is was good journalistic mis-information during the "Brussels Is Bonkers" phase several years ago...

Proper chedder, stilton wenslidale brie and suclike everythime... some of this stuff that 'passes' as cheese, is.. well I've no idea what it is, that's the point... it certainly ain't cheese...

(just lunched on some organic handmade oak smoked chedder, on Danish rye bread) actually this smoked cheese, which I bought off of the farmers Whife a few weeks back, is probably goign to bankrupt me, but when its that* good, who cares... (must find there card so I can hunt down their website and order more, I tried and bought it at a cheese tasting....)
Mind, I will occasionally give in to use some 'standard' supermarket type chedder thing, but only really in cooking and making sausces and suchlike... though having said which, its proper* stilton or not at all, in my leek potato and stilton soup

I admit to liking American "Cheese". Not the fat-free tho. I don't expect anyone else to understand.

Cuz of a health issue, I had to eat like a demon to make sure I kept the weight on. I found "American cheese" a useful contributor of calories - lob a bit into a burger to make it higher in calories - but I'm not mad about it.

Good gruyere on the other hand - it brings out the in me. Once I take a slice I can't stop until I've finished the whole block.