h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

we shall not! we shall not be moved - unless too many baked beans that is

Hahahaha, good one,,,
..he rolls over and spies a rat munching his leftovers.

save gas fart in a jar

Want to see my bellybuttonfluff collection ?

mmmm thinks!

Do you really need to ask Haragai?

No, I should not really ask, but in case someone does, I need to leave my comfy chair and go out and fetch it.
I am sooooo Lazy that I ask before running out.

Surely thats more thoughtful than lazy?

Yes, but to be really-really-really Lazy you have to do a lot of thinking - which can be done while in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. I think the best procrastinators are very intelligent as well.

I'm not entirely sure on the definition of the word procrastination but i'm pretty sure the mentioning of it can get you banned from this site.

Procrastination is the official big-word for being lazy.

It's good that being lazy does have a longer synonym, if theres one thing that needs to be as long as possible, its procrastination time.

and

I'm so idle! I hire someone to snore for me when I'm asleep

A funny thing the other day at work. This woman was complaining about being cold. She said, "See, I have goosebumps, that means it's cold." Kept going on aboout it so I had to say something.

So, I said, "You know what else that means, You're aroused."

That kinda quieted her about that.

I'll have to remember that onereply

for "pulling" womenI use aftershave named "Essence of Giraffe" smells like it but you feel 6ft tall

Giraffe sweat, that sounds great.

I heard a good one some Sports radio guy I listen to from LA said.
He uses it referring to young guys trying to grow some hair on their lip yet really can't. Calls it a " Pube-Stache"

not quite sure about the spelling. (Petros and Money)

haveto go, my league night. After all these years they drug me back in...

enjoy the night/afternoon ok

Brings in some chairs sneaky chairs for the smokers

http://freshome.com/2010/04/20/amazing-chair-in-the-shape-of-a-face-mask-milan-2010/