h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ive never been to disneyland, nor am i ever likely too inless im kidnapped by a giant mouse wearing gloves...

i ddidnt mean you!

I have a scar on my wrist that _isn't_ the result of a failed suicide attempt. Does that make me interesting?

>> I have a scar on my wrist that _isn't_ the result of a failed suicide attempt <<

Was it from a *successful* suicide attempt?

RF

i was once detained and interrogated by the secret service for threatening the life of the president

care to elaborate ?

i was trippin my balls off hichhiking to canada

When I was younger I worked for 3 days at an archaeological dig. Until someone decided that the work was too heavy for all the three females and one of the males working there. I heard he took up body-building.

Emmily

did you uncover anything of note

No, just bits of old, but not old enough to be of interest pottery. and a load of junk.

Emmily

i've got a few bits of native american pottery in my collection

I know the secret of eternal life.

So do I. Don't die. Or define "eternity" as about 70 years.

My two middle fingers are not the same length

I'm a little embarrassed to reveal this one, but in the interests of science;

In the summer of 1988 i was given the job of delivering a massive roll of white 'astroturf' type material to a film studios in Greenford, West London. I had to reverse the lorry into the building, to be unloaded on one of the stages, and chatted to some of the staff while this roll was manhandled off.

"It's for Cliff Richard's Christmas video" i was told.

As it was July, i thought they were pulling my leg, and thought no more of it.
That year the Cliffster unleashed the awesomely awful "Mistletoe and Wine" upon an ususpecting world. The video (the one where he does the scary leg flicking dance) clearly shows him in a studio with fake snow falling, and swaying about on my white astroturf.

I have lived in quiet shame about my small part in this dreadful record for almost 20 years now.......i feel better that it's out.

I was on holiday,i'm not saying where in case of recriminations,when the usualy quiet bar we drank in decided to have a karaoke night.a man got up to sing,i thought he looked familiar,he was terrible,but everyone clapped and cheered.I went up to the bar for another drink and said to the barman,who the hell was that,he was cr*p!The barman stared at me in horror, then told me it was Frankie Fraiser,or mad frankie fraiser to his friends,further more he was standing right behind me.Definitely a 'i'll get me coat'situation.
I'm now living in hiding under an assumed name.

I won a dance competition at a radio 1 road show at Brands Hatch in the mid 1970s

Emmily

Every MG Midget and MGB that has replaced an A or B post since 1985, did so because I made the forming tool for the repair panel.

i once caught a bloke who fell off aroof allmost certainly saving his life as his head was going fer the pavement