h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well I haven’t been here for a while but I haven’t forgotten about you guys
I’ve been very busy and that’s not a very good excuse
So at the moment I am working Night Shift
As many of you know I am a nurse on a psychiatric ward
What you may not know is that sometimes I am the only nurse on the ward
A ward for acute psychiatric health of women...
Which holds 18 patients
I couldn’t do my job without the health care assistants they are amazing
On nights there are four of them and me... sometimes three of them me and another nurse
On top of my ward we have to support four other wards, one other acute female, two acute male and the male PICU (psychiatric intensive care unit)
To say it’s busy is an understatement.
I have cried, I’ve worked till I’ve gotten home and vomited, I’ve been assaulted and come home covered in blood (not mine but still...) I’ve become very adept at preparing IM Lorazepam which is my trusts go to panic unmanageable situation medication
Soon I will finish training to be a qualified nursing mentor for students just as they change it all to assessors instead....
I am mentally exhausted and have at times forgotten how to ask for help
I’ve started looking for other jobs... still in nursing but I’m applying for one at a nearby uni at the moment,
Staff pressures are real, safe working is a pipe dream in mental health services at the moment and forecasts are getting worse.
I’ve had staff go home with broken ribs and when you complain you get a look of confusion and ‘well you work in mental health....’ it can’t stay like this but there is no appetite to change anything.
I’ve also made some real friends, I’ve learned that mental health is very much the poor relation of physical health, I’ve seen people go from extremely unwell to fully able to go back to a hopefully full life in the community and I’ve cried with laughter at jokes and sang and danced on the ward with patients when they have needed it, I love my job I really do, but I’m not sure I can do it long term without risking my own health.

It’s been a recent discovery for me that I’m not very healthy, I bottle things up and go home worrying, I have saved lives and I still think ‘what if I should have done something else, said something else, what made me do that unplanned check, what am I doing’ I am not a mental health nurse, I’m not trained in that area, I trained in learning disabilities nursing (we are things of myth don’t worry if you haven’t heard of us) and I have never had someone tell me that I’ve done ok, that it was a good action to take, I’ve never had a debrief over a traumatic experience and I can’t remember the last time I had supervision.... I’ve tried explaining that night shift makes me ill, I can’t sleep because it’s the wrong time, I get acid reflux and heartburn, I get cranky... I have psuraosis and as part of that I get quite bad pains in some of my joints and my skin is the worst it has been in years, but apparently I need a doctors note and to go see occupational health and even then it’s not guaranteed that I will be able to do only day shifts.

Mostly as I’m sure you have guessed I came to vent, I will be fine, I have a very understanding husband and he is more than able to make me laugh when I need it and also to tell me to go and try to sleep when he sees I need that too. I am lucky.
Look after yourselves and each other, the world is a hard place at times and kindness is often free, but it can mean everything at the right moment


~ Anthea

~ very nice to see you back ~ ~ and ~.

Good luck with the job application. I hope it doesn'tt ake too long until things change for the better.

Anthea, having had my son PJ in a hospital spinal unit for 6 mths 7 years ago I KNOW how depleted nursing staff are in all areas.
You are all 's and always will be Your dedication says it all love

Also sweetheart - Bloody great to "see" you again

P.S.! If you still have my email addy ? I'm always available for a natter ok love!

Lady, you are obviously a much stronger and tougher woman than you appeared to be in 2004, 2005. And you are doing real good. But only you can determine when it is just too much and you are becoming too damaged to even do good for yourself and your family. As much as a person of conscience despises leaving others in real need - your are no good to anyone if you allow yourself to be truly broken. I have crowded that line myself, with only self-help to get back on the level.

In brief - too late? - you are to be admired. And you must look out for yourself. No-one else ever will. All myths of "job support" are exactly that, myths.

Thanks everyone

Rev Nick, I have done a heck of a lot of growing up since our last meet up,
I like to think I have learned a lot and part of that is the value of good friends, dark humour and a dose of sarcasm. 2004/5 can’t have been long after I left home I did not realise how much I had yet to grow as a person and at 18 though that was it I was all grown up Ah good days!

There are a couple of things I’m applying for, I saw an old friend the other day and spent some time outside Which was lovely
Finished night shift for the next few weeks I will be on days
Which always does me some good

Your all lovely people
Thank you

A Yorkshire/northern saying "There's nowt wrong wi rait folk"


Haggis are happy and thriving