h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If, as some have suggested, the reason we are having such erratic weather patterns is that Mother Nature has gone menopausal, I sincerely wish she's have another hot flash. It is way too cold this morning to suit me.

My poor perennials and fruit trees are being driven crazy. Our latest temperature fluctuation is over 60ºF in 2 days, from 73º down to 9º this morning. According to the 7 day forecast, it will go back up into the 60s next week. We never know how to dress anymore. It's as bad as living in England.

I have just had to listen to the same rant over here, Hypatia. Day before yesterday, it was in the 70s. The wind has been blowing around for days. It's noisy out there. The sun is shining, but Elektra was shivering, and then she looked it up.

'No wonder!' she yelled. 'It's 37 out there! This has to stop.'

We're having about the same nonsense as you are. You're right, send that foolishness back where it came from.

Dmitri, one sure sign that I'm getting old is that I can't tolerate the cold any longer. Florida is sounding better and better to me.

Uh-uh. Don't go there.

Remember: FLorida has gators, and BIG pythons, and flying cockroaches as big as your hand.

Well, I'd actually prefer Southern California. San Diego would be nice. Like I could ever afford that! I appear to be firmly rooted in Little DooDah, horrible weather and all.

At least you're on high ground. Don't move closer to the Mississippi.

We're happy, because we're on a ridge, and the tornados go down the highway.

Come back to Texas!

Oh wait, we're having the same weather fluctuations here

Gosho, my mistake was leaving Texas and moving back up here. I liked living in Texas.

Dmitri, don't talk to me about tornados. We've already had two tornado watches this year. In January, for pete's sake.

You have my condolences about those tornados. They make such a big deal out of the localised ones we get that Elektra keeps expecting to hear freighg trains a-comin'.

I'd suggest New Jersey, we're not expecting another major weather event for 200 years.

But no one can afford to live here anymore.

Are you talking about northern New Jersey or southern New Jersey, Witty Moniker? NJ used to have lower property taxes than neighbouring Pennsylvania did but perhaps no longer.

There's really no difference between north and south although property values will be higher in the upscale towns, Elektra. Property taxes are out of sight and we have income and sales taxes. About the only break we get is on gasoline, it's always a bit lower than the national average. And the consumer is not permitted to pump gas!

Yeah, I know that about the gas, my brother lives in south Jersey and I used to have jobs in Camden and Trenton commuting from Philadelphia. NJ is still pretty close to the sea and if that level raises NJ will be a lot smaller.

Is Pete from Texas, too????