h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My Dad had lots of them, and loved to impart his knowledge!

How to catch a bird: put salt on his tail, and he can't fly away.

How to kill a rabbit: put pepper on a rock. The rabbit comes along and sniffs the rock, sneezes and bashes his brains out on the rock.

The chocolate milk from brown cows thing.

Why there's a knot in a heavy horse's tail in the show ring: so it can't jump through its horse collar.

If the hens stop laying, put the hatchet in the corner of the henhouse, and they'll start laying again. (He did, and the next day there was an egg! Now I know it was good timing, and good luck!)

If a hen starts "clucking" (wanting to hatch eggs) pump water on her head, or dump her up and down in a pail of cold water, and she'll stop. This works too!

I'm sure there were more, if I think of them I'll put them in.

Not:

"The man you call 'Dad' is your father." then?

(cynic)

F

Yes, Dear Old Dad was my father. We always called him "Dad". He was only "Father" when I was a smart-a**, know-it-all teenager and he was being particularly dumb. Funny, when I got older, he got smarter. Interesting how that works. By the time I had a child of my own, I'd realized just how smart the man was. I don't know if said child thinks I've got smarter, but I'm old enough to amuse him, or he's old enough.

Sorry BB, I was in rather a cynical mood. You have to read more into the reply than you did.

I called my dad 'Dad' too.

To quote Mark Twain: "When I was fifteen I knew my father was an idiot. It's amazing how much the old man's come on these past twenty years."

F