h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was frequently told by my mother that should I eat the seeds of apples or grapes (which I loved to do as a child) that the seeds would germinate in my stomach and over the course of a few months a plant would emerge from my mouth.

well needless to say I ate countless seedlings after that announcement to which --- sad to say --- no plants.

after that I stopped listening to her altogether.

I was told that if I didn't keep my ears clean potatoes would grow there.
No mention of seeds, they were just supposed to spontaneously appear.

My grandmother told me grape pips would end up in my appendix, and I would be ill. We all knew we would get piles from sitting on wet grass or hot radiators. Someone told me that if I sniffed flowers, insects would get up my nose and into my brain. Elderly lady said walking through ferns would cause cancer... etc etc

There was a Roald Dahl story about how someone (looking after him when he was a child) said that when toothbrush bristles got loose and you swallowed them they got stuck in your appendix and tht's what gave you appendicitis.

What about the one where if you swallow your gum, that over time, you have to have this ball of gum surgically removed from your stomach?

yes, i got the gum and the seed ones as well. in addition:
my mother bought a rubber snake and hung it on the bathroom door, it would supposedly eat us if we didnt brush out teeth well. she now rigorously denies ever having done this.
gypsies were frequently used as an intimidation tool (my apologies to anyone who finds this offensive, i guess it's cultural leftovers, eastern europeans that we are)
if you were bad (again, like not brushing teeth, or not going to bed on time) they would come and steal you.
old russian fairy tales are infinitly more scary than grimms or any of those nice cuddly western ones. picture a shriveled old witch who lives in a house that sits on chicken feet, and is surrounded by a fence of human bones, topped with glowing skulls! this is Baba Yaga, yet another nasty thing that will come and steal misbehaving children and take them deep into the forest...
in another fit of invention, my mother took away my little brother's bottle one day when he was asleep, having decided that he was too old for it. at that time, we were having problems with groundhogs in the yard. they had dug holes all over the place. she told him that the groundhogs came and stole his bottle. then, showing an attention span very rare for a three year old, he spent days lying on his stomach in the yard, peering down all the holes looking for his bottle.

as for passing on the myths to the next generation... i'm sure i will. everyone says they wont be like their parents, but it cant be avoided. besides, the myths are so common for a good reason- they work. i am already guilty, in fact. when my sister was very young we were on a family hike, and she was quite tired but already past the age where anyone could carry here. i got here to trip happily down the last hour of the trail, after finding a double acorn and pressing it into her hand. i told her it was a special energy acorn from the wood elves, and off she went

Expat - thanks for that humourous post (still laughing btw) ....

Zak