h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Despite having three children and no indoor help I have just come throug flu.Last week I was crawling up and down the stairs unable often to breathe and getting pointless daily phonecalls asking if I was coming back to work..Stumbling down the stairs to see an ever mounting pile of washing up and falling over the dirty washing basket festering away in the hallway didn't help.But what was even worse than the pain the tiredness and the dirty washing basket was how horribly depressed I felt...
Waking up this morning I realised I was better because I could face things..like the bills the pointless phonecalls from work and the washing,now cunningly hidden in several black bin liners.It felt like one of those small rebirths. A fiver to the first person to tell me whch song it comes from by the way.

ooh ooh, is it Aztec Camera> Scrub that, Simple Minds - you like them don't you? Hey? Jim Kerr and all his funny noises? You like that, don't you? Oh, the song in question is by The Smiths and is from their cover of F*ck Tha Police. Do I win a caravan?

Manic Mondays by the Bangles? Maybe not

No no.OOh hello Riccardo! Haven't spoken to you for ages how yoy doing? What are you doing and are you able to keep firmly believing the Hutton Report to be true whilst knowing instinctively that everybody was lying about almost everything?

Oh Gently one cannot help what one is . One is formed by inner will and outer circumstance.Zeitgeist!! I lived through the eighties but its not a place to which I wish to return.Onward and upward,even if the r.Kelly remix of J Lo is poor but gets more telly play.

Okay, I was close last time, right, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this 'ere conununununundrum, I think that it is Rock 'n' Roll N****r by Dame Patti Smith. I am right aren't I? Yes?

If it isn't her, it's probably by a bummer with a big chin.

Hi LL, I'm not bad, thanks for asking
The Hutton report - well, there's a thing. I just kept hearing "Hutton report this, Hutton report that". I now know what it was about but since I didn't hear what the beeb had reported, I can't formulate an opinion on it. Except that yes, everyone must be lying to a certain extent because that's all politics is these days!

I've had a slight 80's revival lately - how good is "Only you" by Yazoo? Amazing! You can't beat it. Maybe I'll write you a playlist of my recent compilations. Don't worry, it's most not 80's stuff

RRLG - I thought I had all the Smiths albums, but I don't remember any songs about the police... Mind you, "Shoplifters of the world unite" is bound to involve the police at some stage!

you should get out more

You should take a pleasant pill...we can't all be Johnny'poor Sydney'Lydon after all.Imagine the jungle then!!!!As for the government I feel like saying I'm a grownup-get me out of here.Publish and be damned? More like publish and sanctified.

Stop talking. It gets oh so tedious. Glen Matlock, he was the man, not Johnny. Quit talking trash broad.

I never said he wasn't .Youre just jealous because I actually met Jimmy Pursey...he wasn't wearing laced up boots and cordoruoys though which was somewhat of a disappointment. He didn't recogognise me either which was a shock.Maybe he never watched telly the other way round.

And I recently had lunch with Paul Kagame, lovely chap he is. I win!

Stuck out in the sticks docked in the boons as it were my opportunities fro meeting people except those with eyes ver close together is somewhat limited....
But I have had strawbrrries with Judy Dench and Lentil Soup with Billy Connolly.

I met a Mr Badly Drawn Boy on Thursday in the BBC TV Centre canteen. And that's the god's honest truth.

Well the rest of the clash are going to be here (in our town!) this Saturday something to do with a Damien Hirst installation something to do with Restoration something to do with the Mother of all Concrete Buildings and Kate Moss. Having said that I read a howling report of a shooting in San Antonio Texas this morning at some place called Willow Apartments and compared to that even our local papers seem informed succinct and positively racy...

i gots a sore throat and an enormous cheque to pay for my annual train ticket. seriously considering cashing the sod and doing a runner from this country.

then again my employer wouldn't be too happy about it and does have the ability to rather publicly bring me down.

grrr

Which country you buffoon.

back in the UK, have been for about 3 weeks now. got a job immediately at a rather prestigious corporation. if you watch certain bulletins you may become unexpectedly acquainted with me.

well done>