h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Woohoo!

*does a happy little dance*

*continually munching, moves ever closer to durham*

*watches as his rate of progress exponentially slows*

I'm stretching the toast... I mean ground around Durham. Easy trick given how twisted spacetime is around Durham already.

*njan hasn't had breakfast, and simply munches faster, getting creamcheese all over his chin*

*njan still has infinitely far to munch*

*in the meantime, back at mount njan, njan's operatives have hacked into the durham university computer system, downgrading joe to a media studies student. All of his powers are suddenly repealed, and joe finds himself wanting to make commentary on dystopian models of cultural transition*

Durham doesn't do media studies I don't think... and Durham's computer system is so inaccurate that no one pays any attention to it

gah! no!

grr.. gah.. I have a caffiene headache (need coffee..) and enough money (by a factor of about 50) to buy a coffee with the office coffee machine. But I only have two-pound coins and copper coins, and it's 20p a shot, so I can't buy any.. *bangs head against the wall*

*hands you a virtual for the time being*

thankyou. *adds some cold water to the coffee and drinks it down*

I wonder if any of the people in the office all of whom hate me because I have a 2.2GHz laptop on my desk would swap me a pile of coppers for a 20p piece...

Where is this office?

Milton Park, Didcot. Why?

*lays in target co-ordinates on his launch console*

.. you'd wipe out half of the commercial and industrial business in the South if you did.. there are /lots/ of companies based here.

Oooh, good point

*lays in Slough and Reading as well*

I'm nothing if not thorough

*rolls his eyes*

dear, dear. What on earth would we do without.. actually, you're right. It's a cr*ppy part of the country.

*targets Gerrards Cross, High Wycombe and Aylesbury*

Any others?