h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Excuse me!! I think our erstwhile captain gave THE parachute to me....maybe we can try it out piggy-back style

Yes, they are apart of the inflight entertainment, so you have nothing to worry about.

Wakes up out of drug induced coma.

Ooooooooohh... I like the pretty fireworks!

My the air-conditioning is strong around here. And why is everyone quivering under the bankets at the back of the plane.

Starts walking up to the front of the plane to talk to the captain...

Over the radio comes the following message:

Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for flying Garibaldi's Cattle Craft Airlines, 'Where we know where we're taking you'. I hope you have enjoyed the flight. You will soon be landing in the Pacific Ocean somewhere. If you look out your window you will see me. If you could do me a favour and push out the boxes. This might lighten the load and you may be able to get to land.

Remember, Garibladi's Cattle Craft Airlines knews where we were taking you, and that was to the dry cleaners, and then for a swim.

*EVIL LAUGH*

*crawls out of a box*

Oi... no pushing me out, please, I only just woke up.

*yawn, stretch, ache*

Ugh... I hate sleeping on aircraft, I wake up in a horrible position and with awful cramps.

And there's a 6 year old behind me who hasn't stopped kicking during the whole flight, which isn't helping.

Did I miss the movie, then?

-- Yoz grabs some peanuts for breakfast... "Where's the salt?"

THAT'S the chicken?!?!?!

Shazz, if you leave with that parachute I will be forced to use my secret evil human-powers against you. And I don't want to do that.

Here, Yoz, have a coughdrop. Those peanuts aren't very tasty.

Hey, maybe we could plug up the hole that will ultimately destroy us all if not plugged up with the kid. You wouldn't mind, dear, would you? It's be fun.... and you can have a cough drop! eh?

But which end do we stick on the outside? If we put his legs out, he'll be yelling the whole time. If we put his head out, his troublesome feet will still be in here. What a quandary.

Oooh, Marmite flavour coughdrops. Mmmm.

-- Yoz

Well, what we do is fold him in half, and then stuff him in... and then cover his rear with this forged famous painting from Garibaldi's Art Source- 'Where we know how to paint'.

And I feel I should announce something to you all- after purchasing a small jar of Vegemite from a store out in the middle of nowhere and conditioning myself to eat it, I have decided to launch my own regional company- Amerimite! I'll become rich! But wait--- does that mean Garibaldi would get all my money? Let me see that thing I signed!!!

Oops, looks like that recording went off too early. Though, we might have to get rid of the boxes. Boxes full of gold are quite heavy you know.

Hello Yoz, good to see that you could make it.

Er, Ms Fenchurch, to save you the trouble, how about I just rip up the contract now.

I knew that the Bull came in somewhere.....it's in the Gold BULLion!
OK Fenchurch...I'll rip the parachute in 1/2 and we can share it

And you two are going to trust a Garibaldi's Parachute. Ha, don't make me laugh. And one that is ripped in hald anyway.

I've just popped into the cockpit to have a jolly old talk to the skipper and I've come to the concluison that there's nobody here and we're spiralling out of control into the Pacific Ocean!!!

*whacks head with palm of hand*

I always was a bit slow on the uptake.

Grabs controls and announces through the loudspeaker. "Ahh... Hello? Is there anyone out there that can fly a plane?"

My mother gave me that hat, God bless her soul.

Well er... okay, everyone flap their arms really fast.


What? I'm saving all of your lives here, you know...

It doesn't seem to be working Fenchurch!..but...wait a minute...what is that on the horizon?!

I can fly a plane. I have had about one hour flight time. Let me have a look at that cockpit

Thats very reassuring to hear!But you do seem vaguelly familiar...haven't we seen you somewhere before....maybe without
a wooden leg and eyepatch?

Nope. I haven't seen you before at all. Maybe we met at the departure lounge. So what do you think of the flight so far? I am glad I knew the owner, I didn't need to pay for this flight.

So you are flying free huh!Maybe it WAS in the departure lounge that I saw you....weren't you the guy shepparding the cattle through the 1st class lounge.I particularly liked the way you insisted that each and every member of the herd had some light refreshment before they came on board...pity that the only things available were curried chips and double vodkas!!

Nope, I don't think so. That may have been my brother.

Hmm, well are you going to let me fly this thing, or should we just let it crash into the ocean. What I know of Garibaldi's products, I wouldn't trust this as far as I could throw it.