h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Wired Coffee - A31444788
Author: BeowulfShaffer - U10890736

This is my first article to be put up for any kind of review and I think it is pretty good but still feels a little bit like there is something missing so I thought I would put it in the writing workshop instead of peer review.

Hi there

I think with some headers and paragraphs this will make a lovely piece.

Is this any better?

Yes. However, I would make them headers, not subheaders and for paragraphs begin with and end in . Would you like me to give you the link to my friends GuideML help pages?

I made the changes you suggested. I also added some a little more information.

Nice start


If you have a look at the <./>Writing-guidelines</.> it may help you with some of the content. Then if you could look again at the first person references and rework them, that would be a good start.

I think this has the makings of a good entry, I for one have never heard of it.

I agree

As soon as you've updated could you post here, and we'll read it through again. Thanks.

GB
Scout

I started to revise but didn't get a chance to finish. I think I got the main stuff but may have missed something.
One issue I would like help with is do I realky mean there or should it be their?
These are well arranged with the sofas sandwiched between the bar, a full wall window and a wall with a large example of some kind of art featuring the mask that is there logo.

Hello BeowulfShaffer

<< example of some kind of art featuring the mask that is there logo >>

The easy way to remember which it is, is to work out whether it's possessive or not (e.g. belongs to)

It's "their" in this case, *their logo*, because it belongs to them

I'll go read your Update now and advise you further on the next step

I started to revise earlier but didn't get a chance to finish. And now it is late enough that I am getting sleepy which makes me pretty prone to messing it up so I'm going to log off soon. But first
One issue I would like help with is do I realky mean there or should it be their?
These are well arranged with the sofas sandwiched between the bar, a full wall window and a wall with a large example of some kind of art featuring the mask that is there logo.

I answered that in post 9

Go sleep now, and tend to this tomorrow:

<>
suggest change to:
It's also worth noting that the bathrooms (or at least the one that has been researched) are clean and well decorated.

Sorry for the double post and thanks for the quick reply I hope to read your stuff tommorow but probaly should log off.

That's OK, no worries, and I find it much better updating when you're not tired. Go sleep!

I just asked someone of the other gender about the bathrooms so I now feel ok just saying the bathrooms are clean and well decorated. As for the tiredness thing sorry about that I know I shouldn't post when I am that tired but it turns out that being tired really weakens my impulse control and I was already on h2g2 because I like to rap up my day by browsing the edited guide.

Right, what you need to do now is withdraw your article from the EGWW and resubmit it to "Peer Review" (in that order)

When the box is open at PR, mention that it's your first attempt/first submission and also please post the URL to this thread, to let everyone know it's been here. If not don't worry, one of the others can post later in the conversation.and see you in PR!

GB

I look forward to seeing this in PR