h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Turn just for a moment and look at the person nearest to you.What sort of animal do they most closely resemble?

*looks around his empty office*

There's no one here but me. To see the nearest person would involve leaving my desk and walking down the corridor. I'm not prepared to do that for your sick experiment.

Liam.

Thank goodness you added that smiley!!! Talking of the office wasn't his motivation speech hysterical? And his chat with the group from Swindon....

would you be sweet and go to the nearest mirror cap'n i'd like to know what sort of animal a smartmouth is

Actually alternative, there is someone else in my office today.

In the animal kingdom he would be a springbok. I'll leave it to you to work out his nationality.

This particular smartmouth is a sloth today, on account of the pain killers I'm on at the moment

Oh - and Hello

Liam.

I've got a gazelle here and a chipmunk and someone with lizardy eyes.You alright Spanki? I'm secretly dreading this evening when I have to do my sons eighth birthday tea. He's invited half the street already and I'd been saving up for Harry Potter and his swimming party,so it will be a sausage roll and a couple of mini-cheddars each,I'm afraid. Your baby must be three months old surely?How is she

As long as the kids are amused the party will be great.

I've managed to pull one of the muscles that controls the diaphragm - so it now hurts to breathe/cough/move. This was caused by a bloody cough. Arrgghh.

She's two months old on Friday. God it goes quick! She's fine, she smiles on occasion and I've taught her to stick her tongue out

Liam.

Imanaged to pull a chest muscle on the Twister in September I actually felt a 'ping'. My children just kept sliding further over until I was squased outside the bar.I tried to sign at the man to stop the ride but he only waved morosely back...

sorry - i must be a rude little monkey

hullo

sorry to hear about the cough induced muscle spasm. hope you recover quickly.

Oi! What about sympathy over here? Its no joke being squeezed to death on a fairground ride,let me tell you. And I'm a single parent so I ought to get any sympathy going,its written into my contract.

Awwww

Happy now?!

alternative - Where did you spring from? Who are you? What are you doing in my space?!

Liam.

I thought you knew her or, of course,him. Most welcome of course(whispers)Might be social services,spanky,look like a good parent,quick!

Social services?! Have they come here to congratulate me on not sponging off them like others I could mention *points blame over to LL*. What the hell is the family allowance supposed to pay for? It's cost me that much money in time to go and collect the bloody thing

*busy looking like a good parent*

Liam.

I'm a widow ,spanky. And as soon as I get the all-clear from the doc I have to go back to work. I'm going to look a little peaky until January and then I'm looking for lucrative part-time work.And no I don't need any suggestions!!! Unless of course they are good ones...

I know, I'm just being my usual obnoxious self. I didn't mean to cause any offence *backgroung noises of my trying to dig myself out of this one*. What, if you don't mind me asking, is wrong with you so you need the all-clear from the doc?

I don't suppose you're interested in evening work?
Lucrative and part-time don't usually go well together - except in this sentence: "Part-time work is not lucrative." We did discuss, at some point, your job history - but it has escaped me and I'm too lazy to look for it in the back-log. Care to refresh my memory?

Liam.

Oh damn! Its bloody 3.30!! I'm off to but some party rings ! wish me luck and I'll run through my inglorious C.V with you tomorrow!

GOOD LUCK!

Liam.

hi liam,

i haven't a clue how i ended up here, once you get in here you never end up where you planned. i like animated conversation and posted up before i knew it. (and one day will stop being lazy and look up how to do all these emoticon things.)

lastly, who am i? i endeavour daily to have no idea.

micky

Hi Micky

I've got no problem with you being here - I regularly drop in on other people's conversations, and with everything being public here it does have a certain voyeuristic appeal to it. Welcome to my space

The emoticon things - called smileys on here, you're a MS Messenger user I presume - are easy to do. The simplest one is the which is : ) with no space inbetween. There are loads more and if you click on any smiley it will take you to the hootoo smiley page. There are loads of useful like - which is < ale > with no spaces, or (< cheers &gt.

>lastly, who am i? i endeavour daily to have no idea.<

Good strategy Is that Micky - like Michael or Micky like Michelle?

Liam.

oops - that should have been

Liam.