h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.directbeers.com/

I mentioned these guys a few months back, and caught up with them at the Royal Welsh show on Thursday. So I am now the proud possessor of nine assorted disgustingly-named beers.

Anyone fancy getting a mail order from them? I'm happy to hold off drinking them if there's a beerfest in it.

B

maybe... I'll need to drink about it... err think about it... shall investigate in the morn

I don't think I could afford the shipping, even if the company could get it through Customs. Also, the beers might not survive the same type of mistreatment to which the Wensleydale cheese was subjected. (Package appeared to be drop-kicked, and a large hole punched through the side. I blame 2legs and Homeland Security, in that order.)

Gotta love the labels, though.

Thanks to the ever-lovin' TABC, breweries and beer sellers aren't allowed to send beer to addresses in Texas a la mail order, and the USPS, plus companies such as Fedex and UPS are not keen to transport it either, so I'm out of this one.

I wasn't necessarily aiming this at Texas beer lovers, but I was hoping that Rich, Roymondo and 2legs might get in on the act.

If we pace ourselves on a mixed box of 12, there should be enough for two beerfests.

B

Due to the lack of interest, I shall be tasting some of these tonight and some more at some point later this week. Watch this space.

B

OK, first up is Rat's Piss, which enigmatically describes itself as a Golden Apple Beer. I was under the impression that this meant it would be cider, but no. Despite looking like a cider, and smelling distinctly of apples, it's definitely a malted beer, just flavoured with the fruit. I've never been able to clamber on board with fruity beers, even the Belgian ones, and this one doesn't really do much either. It's unacceptably bitter on the aftertaste, to the extent where I don't think I'm going to finish the pint.

/5

B

Update on that one: the bitterness is decreasing, which makes me suspect that there are oxidisation reactions similar to those you'd get in red wine. It's slightly more pleasant now, I'll upgrade it to 2/5

B

Cat Piss next, labelled as a Pale Golden Ale, and indeed it is suitably yellow. Plenty of citrus in this one, and a golden mouthfeel which helps it slip down nicely. A fair bit of chunky sediment, too, which I'm afraid is always off-putting, especially in a beer of this colour.

/5

B

Next it's Big Cock (yes, yes, I know). A Pale Golden Beer, according to the bottle, and again I can't really fault the description. A lovely pale tawny colour in the glass and a classic amount of fizz - just enough for a head but certainly not over-gassed. Vanilla and cream on the tongue. Lovely.

/5

B

OK - what have we here?

Brain Damage is its name. It's a pale ale and - despite the name - a fairly modest 5.0%ABV

After the inevitable sediment has settled (all these beers are unfiltered), there's a tasty sienna pint - exactly the tone I like to drink. Biscuity and slightly tart, it's a smashing pint without anything too notable to promote it to full marks.

/5

B

Next, up the delightfully-named Arse Liquor, an IPA.

A gorgeous peachy taste marks this one out, and IPAs are notorious for carrying well, so this one is probably the pinnacle of the range. It certainly does gather any complaints from me. Beautiful buttery flavour and silky in the throat. I like.



B

Old Fart - this one advertises itself as 'Best Bitter'.

And it's not at all bad, you know. A big toasty flavour to this one, it's reminiscent of cold mornings and autumn leaves, and very pleasing with it. A rare non-filtered beer too. Can't see much that would stop me drinking this.

/5

B

Boulder Beer Company's Hazed & Infused, an unfiltered dry-hopped ale:

Full head, nice Cascade in the nose, bright rich flavor, well-balanced.

/

Part 2 gets underway, and I have three beers left to try.

Shit Stew is the gloriously-named IPA that is up next. It's a heady pour, much more gassy than previous beers in the range and has lots of very fresh hops on the nose. It's a tangy and dry pint, but there's little more than a fleeting papery flavour before it disappears, which was a bit disappointing.

/5

B

Bullshit Bitter is the penultimate beer in this surprisingly good tasting. Very sedimentary, I'm afraid, but when it settles there's a pretty good biscuity and malty bitter here. Reminds me of nothing more than a Hovis biscuit and makes me crave cheese. But that's a good thing.

/5

B