h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hell is other people - was that Sartre?

Well, after a pretty hellish weekend let's consider alternative definitions.

Hell is.....Paris. Smelly, expensive, over-rated. And full of pickpockets who nick your wallet containing all your cash and cards within hours of getting there.

But then, part of the essential Parisian experience is spending hours on the phone to credit card stoppy centres, trying to locate your numbers, filling in forms at the local gendarmerie.....

Hell is....finding that the shop at the Pompidou Centre has a sale on of your favourite designer, but not having any funds to buy it.

Hell is....having to tell your son that he can't have a dessert.

Hell is....having to act out of character. Not telling the waiter that he's undercharged you, not leaving a tip, not giving money to street people, using a child's bus ticket when a full one should've been used. Cos you've no choice. As they say, beggars cant be choosers.

Hell is....contemplating spending the day with only 10 euros, so dry baguette on the grass for lunch and dinner.

Thing is, I was with a friend (well, acquaintance, turns out I don't know her that well) who was lending me money, but not as much as I asked for or needed, and then looking darkly at me any time I spent it. So yeah, maybe Sartre was right.

Ouch. Sorry to hear your trip didnt go according to plan... My dad once had about £1000 nicked out of a bumbag in Hong Kong when he was taking it to the bank. We were on holiday then too... Its a b*gger isnt it...

Sounds pretty terrible.

I know I had to stay up to almost 1 in the morning witch was really terrible

Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal, Stinky Wizzleteats. This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy! That's right! It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of nature... They don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!

Don't you all feel better for that?

Liam.

What's the tune there, fella?



And - are you sure you're feeling OK

'tis the Happy Happy Joy Joy song! From Ren and Stimpy.

Also available - Powdered Toast Man, Log and Don't Whizz on the Electric Fence.

Yup I'm fine... wooooooo weeeeeeee fibble!

Liam.

Ren and Stimpy, eh?

Can't say I'm aware of their work

Were they the architects who designed that glass pickle thingy?

No, I think you're thinking of Wren, he designed St Paul's.

Ren is a chihauhau and Stimpson J. Cat is a, erm, cat!

"Mmmm hog jowls!"

Liam.