h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A662717

Hi,
sorry about the last attempt!
I've re-edited my submission taking your constructive critisms into account and am now re-submitting for Peer Review.
Thanks for the help by the way. On Hell's suggestion the entry has been formatted in GUIDE ML which has allowed for a fresher layout to draw the reader in.
This has also allowed for the link's to be made operational - a useful feature that.
I hope that the subject matter will prove interesting to whoever reads it - it's certainly eccentric enough!
Thanks for your time and consideration,
Swizz...

OK. Looks better now. Maybe you skip the horizontal lines and put the paragraph between pairs.
Subheaders are generated with the texttexttext pairs. You might want to consider including subtitles. Like "Historical evolution of Trikes". Another interesting gizmo is the pair used to generate - you guessed it - footnotes, used for information for more interested readers etc...

Do you mention the widespread "lorry" Trikes? I've seen loads of them in Italy (small and busy streets).
And what about those buggy-type trikes, a friend of mine had one of those.

In some parts you have used 1st person. This is one of the most common no-no's of the edited style.

Later...

HELL

Hey, this is a good start!

If this entry is just focusing in on trikes for adults, I think it would be good to have the title reflect that (i.e., All About Trikes for Adults...).


Mikey

Or "... Motorized Trikes".

Bye,

HELL

Hi,
I'm going to re-edit it over the next coupla days.
Re: 1st person. I've just used this as a writing tool to help draw in the reader. I sometimes try to write in the style of a script for a presenter on say Top-Gear - Is this definitly a no-no?
Please help. Yours,
Swizz...

Swiz,

I know you're going to do it, but I'd just like to repeat the request for subheaders. I get lost easily.

Also, you might want to mention somewhere (probably near the beginning) that "Trike" is short for "Tricycle."

About the first person. I sympathise. However, it is generally considered to be a bad idea. The rational is that using the first person makes the entry a personal experience, and h2g2 wants only guide entries that apply to everybody to be in the edited guide. So, you probably ought to change those, as annoying as it may be.

Its got great potential.

-Strider

You can add you personal oppinion using inderect speech:

"The author of this entry suggests that the reader should drive a trike to experience the unique feeling..."

Or, quoting in Italics

As experienced trikers say :You gotta try it out, man... Woo-Hoo... It's unbelievable.

Later,

HELL

I think it should also mention that if the european motorcycle industry manages to get it's "type approval" legislation through, then all disabled friendly modifications will be illegal, as will all other modified motorcycles, which will of course include most trykes.

This really does have the ingredients for a good edited entry, with just a few minor changes. I think these points have been made before but...

The title need changing to something a bit more specific.

The layout could be a little clearer. Those more versed in guideML than I have explained I think.

You may also like to point out the reason most non-disabled 'bikers' ride trikes in the UK - the law about wearing crash helmets doesn't apply . The feeling of (legally) getting the wind in your hair is amazing.

Not sure if its something that should be included as the situation could change, but an interesting point - last time I checked, motability grants (ie government funded alterations to the vehicle to suit one's disability in the UK) are not available for trikes, only cars. Nice to see you've got the link to NABD in - who do give grants to bikers needing an adapted machine)

Sue

Hi,

Looks like the beginnings of a good entry!

I have a few questions / suggestions.

Are trikes still rated much lower in terms of Road Fund Tax and insurance? And wasn't there some strange l;aw that said that as long as they didn't have a reverse gear they were motorcycles and you coiudldrive one with a m'bike licence? I remember haring about people blocking reverse gear. (I also heard - a myth? - about someone driving an Iseta into a garage, all the way to the wall. Because the door open forwards and because they didn't have reverse, the driver was stuck until someone came.)


I wrote the entry on the Mrogan Motor Company. It's here http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A563654

Awu

Hi

Great article. I personally think it is a rocket of a first entry. Your enthusiasm for the subject should carry this through PR by itself, I reckon. Having said that (and in all sincerity) I suspect the following list of comments may end up looking a bit long to a first-timer here. Don't Panic! I am only sticking my oar in because I work on the basis that PR is all about rowing (rhyming with 'going'). So, take it or leave it in all good faith. Especially style stuff, that's totally up to you. Great guide entries combine solid info on with a readable style and you certainly offer both here.

Ok, here's the rest:

First and foremost, some simple but effective formatting like that described above will do wonders to this. I am no PC expert and I have found that GuideML formatting is pretty easy and it can really improve things for the reader.

You can find the GuideML official info (which is pretty helpful) here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A187229

But personally, I recommend the method below. Find something that looks good and you can copy and paste it. Pie couldn't be easier.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A187229


More specifically:

>>conscious - I don't think this is the word you want

>>The Trikes this article is interested in are of the road going kind

- This is a 'tricky to read' sentence. Word order?

>>Well the simple answer is a vehicle with three wheels.

- Could you get the word 'tricycle into this sentence somewhere? "the simple answer is a vehicle with three wheels - a tricycle!

>>There though is where the common ground ends.

- I don't know what you mean here. Needs commas, too.

>>The first layout - You have used this word throughout these 2 paras and it surprised me everytime. Isn't 'design' appropriate here? Or is that too specific?

- The list you give here is rather confusing. At risk of boring you, this can be done with a snappy list gadget in GML!

- These two chunks of text are really at least seven paragraphs of great stuff. I love "are you sure you've never parked next to one at Tesco's?"

- I think you probably *should* give some explanation for those outside the UK about the concepts 'Rodders' and 'Del-boy'. Footnotes can be handy for this kind of thing (and they needn't be devoid of humour)

- Like the conclusion, and in reply, yes, thanks.


just a lone typo for you:

>>and, One - no cap


- Finally, I started out assuming I knew roughly what it was going to be about. I associate the word 'trike' with the kind of big-wheeled dune-buggy or rough-rider type adventure trikes. I felt after reading the piece that this was not really the focus at all (not a beach in sight!). Am I mistaken? And do others have similar associations? Just a thought.

Well, that's quite enough of that. I'd just like to say that I for one hope this goes in to the edited guide. Good luck! See you on the front page.

Spiff

Definitely needs to be made clear that this is solely about motorised trikes. I see more of the non-motorised kind myself.

A good start

It might be worth mentioning a bit about the handling characteristics, especially regarding the stability, (or lack thereof), of the one-front-two-rear configuration.

Also, the Harley-Davidson Servicar had a very long and honoured history as both a meter-maid vechicle, a police vehicle, and a mechanic's vehicle, and I believe it also saw some service as a military vehicle..

I liked it. Easy to read, informative and mildly amusing.

I won't repeat what's been said about GuideML (What are subeditors for, anyway?)

I've always fancied one of those VW trikes, and now you say they can be bought off the shelf? Ten grand? Wow. Has anyone got £9950 I can borrow?

Good luck with this

Geoff

First, I love trikes

second, I think the use of "Ahhhhhh..." is a bit too informal for edited guide language and should be removed or replaced..

third, I think the propaganda at the end can go, if people want to find out more about trikes they can click on the links...an advertisement is rather tacky and not in the spirit of the Edited Guide....

good entry besides that...

oh and personally I love the Harley Davidson Lowboy

H.A.

But the title is still inaccurate - this is motorised trikes, not "all about trikes."

I agree with that also....the title should change..... that is one of the most common things to get changed as people have a tendency to name their entries before deciding to put them in peer review... even calling it "all about motorised trikes" would imply that it is THE comprehensive and unabridged guide to trikes.... the name should be very exact as to what the reader will find inside... a name as simple as "motor-trikes" is sufficient, and any modifiers would be added to narrow that down , not to open it up to include "all" of anything......

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'All About Trikes...'.


This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process

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