h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was going to write a fun happy journal entry about how my friend and I tried on wedding dresses last night, and then went out for margaritas.

That's not going to happen.

A little while ago, my old computer started having some glitches with the hard drive, so my Mom bought a program that would wipe it. Unfortunately, it shows every document that it wipes so you have a chance to save it.

EVERY document- including a diary that I wrote a little less than a year ago when I was angry with her. I've completely forgotten what I wrote, or the specific incident that made me so angry, but I said some mean things about her, and she read every word in tears.

My Dad, against her wishes, called me up and let me know what happened, but I can't let her know that I know or it'll get Dad in trouble. I think I'm just going to let him get in trouble- he'll get over it.

I feel like such a b!tch. I never meant for her to find it, much less read it. I thought I had deleted the damn thing!

How am I going to deal with this?

Eat a large portion of humble pie and take your mum out for a drink, arm yourself with a lot of tissues and try and make amends, your mum probably knows your dad has told you by now, so go and try to sort it out.

Just tell her straight that there was a ducument on your computer that you wish she hadn't seen. Tell her you love her, didn't mean to hurt her and well, just a bit . Some or might help!! Tell her it was written when you were and didn't really mean it, except in the heat of the moment. (I gather you didn't or you wouldn't be so worried). It couldn't have been mind blowing or you would remember what it was about and what you said.

Parents can be very hard on their kids and it isn't until you have kids of your own that you realise what they went through You also realise they made mistakes which they probably regretted but would never admit to, so maybe some of her tears were because your remarks hit home

A few years back I was clearing out my son's stuff that he had left behind when he went to Uni (with his permission) and found a loose sheet of paper in one of his old books. It said that his biggest problem was his mother . It referred to a number of things that had happened, and also to do with the clothes he was forced to wear (we were very short of money) which had caused him to be teased and bullied at school.

It upset me very much as he never said as much to my face. I have never to this day tackled him about it (he is now 30) and only remembered it when I saw your journal entry.

It was just part of growing up (yes, I know you are not a kid any more - but you are to your Mum & Dad, and always will be) The fact that you were both able to write about it probably helped get it out of your system.

I am sure you will sort it, and I don't expect your Dad will be in much trouble really. Nice caring Dad, anyway, so count yourself lucky, because she could have stewed over the insults for ages without telling you why she was grumpy. Mums are funny old things, you know, just like daughters (and sons!!)



Websailor

Thanks both of you!

I know I need to go talk to her, but opening this up is going to be very very difficult for me. I think I'll wait until tonight, and do it over the phone, or maybe go for a visit home on Sunday and do it then.

Traveller in Time on his head
"Do not procrastinate sounds as if it could make things harder to work out."

Face to face is much better, but harder. It takes more courage but I am sure it will be more effective, and you will feel better - afterwards

Quite apart from anything else you can't on the phone

I agree with do not procrastinate. Be

Websailor

Well, it's a little late for a face to face thing- I just sent an email. I live a long drive away now, and I couldn't do the face to face until Sunday. But at least this gets it out in the open for the phone call tonight.

And you can bet I'm going to shout at my dad for this for putting me in this kind of position. Next time Mom asks him not to tell me something, I'd rather he didn't.

But you know, I'm staying optimistic. This could actually turn into a good thing in the long run for our relationship. Maybe by getting this stuff out in the open, we can both change our behavior, and we won't drive each other crazy as often.

Funny enough that is what I was trying to say, I've had my share of long silences and stilted conversation to know it's not much fun

Whew!

That's a load off my back! My mom just emailed me back, and she was so glad that I sent her that message. There's probably some air that needs clearing yet, but things are going to be OK!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!





that's the hardest part over

wooohoooo

I'm always late to these threads...

*Is late too.*

*Exhales in relief.*

So glad you are on your way to clearing up the misunderstanding. Mums and daughters nearly always fight, as do Dads and sons.

I fought like cat and dog with my Mum, but she was of Victorian mindset, and we never cleared the air. It is too late now and I am left with a lot of bad memories.

Hope all goes well for you.

Websailor

We're working on it, Websailor!

Oh Websailor that is so true, my 10 year old daughter and I have some real humdingers, but then again me and my dad used to fight like mad

Weird thing, families.

My sis and I were often at odds with mom, but rarely ever dad. Mostly it was disagreements about what is/was best for us...

I think it's because me and Dad were so similar in temprement, just like me and Alex, she is so like me as a teenager it's spooky but she's only 10



God knows what she'll be like at 16

According to some thing my teacher read, at about my age (14, and through most of your teenage years) you're sposed to fight alot with your parents, especially for girls with their mums. It's a sign that you're growing up and moving apart from your parents. Like, if you're fighting a lot with your Mum than it's showing that you're getting your own opinions and own decisions rather than becoming a clone of your Mum.

Looks like me and my Mum are all good then...