h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(PS I am not responsible for any elbow licking injuries!)

Such as severe neck strains? Or dislocated shoulders?

But you do have pain killers..please tell me you have pain killers!!!

Attempted elbow licking, if done properly, should not cause undue strain. Gentle stretching of the arm and curling of the tongue is a necessary first step. Only those who go leaping straight for the elbow in a rapid and headlong manner risk injury. For any who do so, we have chocolate on hand to ease the pain.

? ...may have to try & lick the other elbow...get twice as much .

Oh! Now you impart the 'technique' for elbow licking, after I've done myself various injuries. You could have told me this at the time of bringing up the idea in the first place. Mind you they do have a good sort of nurse at this particular hospital, so it's not a total loss I suppose. I was suprised to find that there is actually an 'elbow licking related injury ward' at most major hospitals!
Still next time I try something like this, I'll wait until I am warmed up!

MadHamish
(Finding hospital food is much more usefull as projectiles than it is for eating)

I am out of hospital, and bear no grudges! What I want to know,is has anyone else noticed that the sky is swirling in small whirlwinds and the buildings are swaying in the breeze? Ooops, just me huh?
Must be the Pethedine!

I saw a cartoon in hospital called "God, the devil and Bob"
Man did I piss myself! Is is a funny cartoon or was it hospital drugs?

MadHamish
(Aiding the peasent uprising in South America)

Is there really a cartoon called "God, the Devil, and Bob"?

Yes, there is indeed a cartoon called "God, the Devil and Bob"
It has many famous people doing voices, such a Nancy Cartwright (Lisa Simpson), French Stewart(Harry-Third Rock from the Sun) and many more (If I hadn't had Martini's for breakfast I may well have remembered their names). Check it out if you can, I thought it was very, very funny and just a tad unsettling(I should know).

If it is showing it on free to air TV in Australia it must be easy to get, believe me!

It's not the Simpsons, but then again nothing else is (Deep)!

MadHamish
(I was once Satan's handmaiden)

"Handmaiden"? You switching genders on me Hamish? Are you sure it wasn't for Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light, ruler of Heck?

'Heck'(as you put it) has always been an equal opportunity employer. They treat everyone the same down there, believe me. The job was just called 'Handmaiden', regardless of the sex of the employee. Anyway it was only for two weeks as work experience. I went to a very posh school, they could afford to send you anywhere, absolutely anywhere! I learnt many amazing skills at that school, including how to pick a lock with my eyebrows and the ancient and mystical Japanese martial art 'Okidoki'. How did you know that Satan's name was Phil?

MadHamish
(Learning to fly with only two crow feathers, unsuccessfully)

I learned about "Phil" through the mystical multipaneled illumination here in the West called "Dilbert". I meditate daily on the most inspiring black and white panels. It is widely thought that Phil carries a pitchfork, but in fact he carries a large spoon. I have also learned the mystical ways of the "pointy haired boss." So, you practice "Okidoki", can you teach it to me?

JE

It would be a tad difficult to teach an ancient and mystical art over the net I'm afraid! Sorry!

Actually, some years ago, Phil started carrying a 'Spork'(or a 'splade', whichever takes your fancy). He found that it offered the best of both worlds. I think he missed using a fork a little, you know with all that 'pain & torture' etc...etc.


MadHamish
(Take me to your leader, via a bottle shop!)