h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*They look up into the large room, thirty feet up to the ceiling. THe abandoned warehouse looks like dozens of others, with anything worth anything taken out of it already. The floor is solid concrete and looks eerily like the one from the movie "Resevoir Dogs". This building does not let in sunlight, as they may need to keep this suckhead for interrogation for a long time*



*Expert Vampire Hunters Jade and HDS walk into the room, dragging Hjik thoroughly wrapped in a silver chain.*



<HDS, the weapon's master (and a more awesome incarnation of Whistler)speaks: [Finally got you, you chicken s*** son of a b****]

*Jade and HDS partially untie the chain and tie Hjik to a silver chair staked into the floor. Unable to resist, HDS punches Hjik upside the side. There are open cuts on Hjik's face, but they have ceased to bleed.*

Hjik: [you will suffer for what you're doing to me. . . .]

*Jade smiles and injects him with more sedative. He then gets another Hypodermic needle and injects a vampire version of truth serum.*

Jade: [Should we interrogate him now, or wait for the serum to take affect?]

oocooc

Awww, why no dismemberment...? You are absolutely no fun whatsoever. Well fine, no dismemberment, but I am buggered if I'm not gonna go twenty kinds of cockney in this. (Ever played Chrono Cross? Remember Kid...? heh heh heeehhh...



*She kicks him in the shin, very quickly regretting it ('cos cor, his shin's hard...), but not wincing. She takes a dagger from a leather sheath on her left leg and spins it lazily in her hand.*

You were a bugger to catch, you know? So what's the story then? Spill it, scum, or I'll make things uncomfortable for you...

*The vampire gives her a glare of both rage and hunger*

Spill it scum? Is this some kind of bad cop show? You humans, thinking you can intimidate me.

telepathy to Jade:telepathy to Jade

*snickers knowing his telepathy must have rattled her at least a little bit*

Hjik thinks to himself:

I'll answer some, of your questions. But why don't you be a nice girl and put that daggar away before you cut yourself or the old man over there. *Looks at HDS*

If you want me to talk, why don't you be civilized and ask me a real question? You humans never know how to be civilized, especially that one. *Looks at HDS*

*HDS walks up and bashes Hjik on the head with the but of his shotgun*

*Tall guy in jeans, white T-shirt and leather jacket enters warehouse*

HDS, Patriarch of Vampire Hunters, heard you got a new one captured.

*Looks at Hjik* oocooc

Holy s***! That's a Master you have chained to that chair!

*tries very hard not to scream*

oocooc

oocooc

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*Looks at Jade*

How in the hell did you capture a Master?

Hjik thinks to himself:With a lot of f***ing luck. *Glares at Jade and HDS*

*crosses arms* Right, I'm just going to get back into character now, if you humaniods don't mind terribly...

*looks at Doc* With big bloody pointy sharp /daggers/. Now sit down and shaddup or I'm going to have ta hook /you/ with 'em, briggand.

*glares down at Hjik* Now back ta you. This isn't about you, ye ken? This is about all the people you've hurt and all the people you're likely to hurt if we're fool enough to let you go. So mind who you're talkin' to 'ere, or the Old Man here'll smack you about with that rifle again.

*Hjik curls his slip into a very small smile*

Whatever you say he will remain an old man, though perhaps a bit distinguished. I always thought a man should have an honest trade, and be skilled at it. And while I don't agree with his, (clears his throat) trade, he at least is somewhat accomplished in his profession.

*HDS has to keep himself from smiling, as to not let the vampire get satisfaction from his deliberate compliment*

Hjik's telepathy to HDS: [Oh come now, you can smile.You know you want to.]

*In fear and surprise at Hjik able to reach his mind, (after years of training to resist) HDS walks up and bashes Hjik (in the face!) again. Doc follows suit, except he does it with one of two nickel plated Desert Eagles once concealed in his jacket*

*Hjik looks at Doc*

Oh come now, do as the lady says and go over there, sit down and shut the f*** up!

*Doc hears Hjik's laughter inside his head, equally scared and taken aback at the vampires ability to reach his trained mind*

oocooc

*Not wanting to take orders from Jade, but doing so because he is in a state of confusion, Doc walks away and stands a little farther away from the silver chair*

*Hjik looks at Jade, still with a grin*

Jade, not to diminish your trade of course, but it, prejudices you and limits my ability to defend myself. For the record, I never hurt anyone.

Hjik's telepathy to Jade: [In fact, I only gave them what they wanted, what they painstakingly desired, and asked for from their own lips. They wanted to be me, to have a chance to be what I am. Of course, few ever get to that point because of people like you. . . . .]

*Hjik speaks out loud* You say you don't want to let me go, that's fine, because I rather like being your prisoner. But must our talk lack civility. I have a feeling we're going to be spending, a long time together. Torture me if you must, but please no need for the rude words. Besides, *looks at Jade* I always have appreciated a practice skill.

It was foolish of you to bring me in here anyway. You should have killed me when you had the chance. Oh, that's right. I forgot, you tried to kill me, but I was too strong to die. I suppose dragging me out into sunlight would do it, but, the night is young, and this place doesn't let in light anyway. . . . .

*Doc paces nervously then turns to the other vampire hunters*

Why don't we just kill this son of a b**** and get it over with?

So Doc is officially playing with us now? That works fine for me.

*rolls her eyes at Doc*

Don't make me elbow you in the stomach... 'ave you been taught nothin' at all of patience?

*looks down at Hjik*

They only wanted you to do that because they were weak minded fools. We /both/ know tha'. They were naught but sheep to you, a mindless flock of drones ready to be picked off one by one an' consumed when you felt a bit peckish. You speak of appreciatin' practiced skills, Don' make me laugh. You sir have a /very/ practiced skill. I shan't deny you tha', but there's no honour in it. You are a parasite and shall be treated as such. So as to the civility, you 'ave, as far, done nothin' at all to deserve it, and I shan't grant you any.

*HDS walks over to Jade and whispers*

HDS:Jade, I agree with you that he doesn't deserve our civility. But he is playing a game, and if we're going to get any info out of him we have to play along, at least to a certain extent. He's almost as dangerous bound to that chair, but we'll use torture to keep him weak.

*Hjik smiles on the inside, for he can hear them speaking*

*Hjik looks at Doc and speaks*

Doc, showing such impatience now are we? Does this mean, that you are afraid? I'm tied down to this chair, what harm can I do to you? Unless you're just a coward. . .

*Hjik looks at HDS*

Now this one, in spite of his *coughs* many flaws, had the courage to face me without the inhibitions I have now. Perhaps you can learn from his example. . . .

*Hjik looks at Jade*

I may be many things, Jade, but I am not a parasite. Humans and vampires are symbiants, and if you knew how your histroy so depends on us you would know that your civilzation at its progress has always needed us. I may be many things, unholy perhaps, but I am no parasite. And my, victims, as you put it, were not sheep to the slaughter. NOt only did they come to me, but they sought me out for years, and only the resourceful and those who truly desired the power I had to share with them. There is dark and light and good and evil, but not all that is light is good, and not all that is dark is evil. You as vampire hunters should know this better than anyone. But you do not know many things about your prey, no matter how much you study it. That is why you brought me here in the first place. You brought me here, because you have questions for me and doubt in yourself, so turn to me and seek the knowledge you lack, or go back to your obscurity, and try to hunt vampires without knowing their true nature. In either case, I deserve some respect. And not the kind of respect one gets by being tied to a silver chair, although I realize this is a kind of respect. Please, noble HDS, fair Jade, and. . . .brash and vigorous Doc, speak to me as a friend. Don't I deserve some friendliness before I die?

*Looks at Jade, lusting for blood*

So my dear, what do you want to know.

*Doc looks nervous*

Jade, HDS, its a trick, we should kill him now! DOn't listen to him. I hear he once was captured like this and at the end of it two of the hunters were dead and the only is now a vampire! HDS, I know you're the senior guy here, but come on man, we can't keep jut question him. He's gonna break out of those binds!

/I'm/ really hear now!

oocooc

*HDS walks over to jade, laying his shot gun on a gun rack as he does*

He doesn't deserve our civility

*Crosses the room so that he is a foot from Hjik*

And yah don't deserve friendlyness either!

*Suddenly whips out a cattleprod, presses the extender button. It extends right into Hjik's mouth, catching him off gaurd. HDS depresses the shock button, causing a painful jolt of electricity to enter Hjik's body, and causing a bit of foam to creep out of Hjik's mouth. At that, HDS presses the retracot button, causing the cattle prod to shrink back into it's handle, leaving only end fork out. HDS rubs the foam off of the prod's shock head, using Hjik's shirt as the towel*

disgusting wretch

I've been reading up on this mind if i join, if you don't want me to disregard this post.

*In the depths of the shadows emerges Craxus in a red trenchcoat and a big red hat. His hair flowing around the hat giving it an almost real look to it.*

Master HDS, I am here at your request.

*Craxus bows low, and walks ever so slightly so you may here his boots hit the floor with a nice impact walking over towards HDS.*