h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When they'd booked the castle and told the letting agent that they were going to invite all their friends to their anniversary party for a wild and crazy night, the agent had looked Peter and Jane in the eye, had coughed a nervous cough, and said: "Wild and crazy, eh? I think you'll probably get what you ask for, up there in the Halloween Castle... mwuhahahaha!"

Undeterred, Peter and Jane packed all their friends into the mini bus hired for the occasion and stuffed all the food (not much) and drink (more than enough to weigh the back down by 6"s) into the expansive boot.
One blott on the horizon was that Megan had called to say she had gone down with a debilating bout of the flu and couldn't make it... so that left just 13 of them...

shazz

The castle loomed on the horizon in the way that castles do, clouds hanging over the butt... err... buttresses in the way that clouds do.

It started raining. Of course.

...meaning that there was a little extra room in the minibus for additional alcohol supplies, which Peter and Jane knew would be essential.

At the alloted hour they gathered; the sky was filled with autumnal grey rolling clouds that threatened rain and made the minibus seem cosy rather than crowded. The dirt grey sanctuary complained a little as Jane navigated her way along the winding, twisting lanes as Peter navigated - the tattered and yellowing map and the faxed directions were none too clear but eventually, they saw it...

There was a body lying in the middle of the road!!

They all scrambled out of the mini bus and ran towards the body, as they started to feel for pulse, one of the eyes opened, 'hey that isn't in the...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?',
Peter raised an eyebrow.
'Oh let me guess, how does the cleché go? you wouldn't just happen to be an actor in a scary movie would you?'
The man nodded silently.
'What else, oh yeh, the movie crew are about to come running over that hill and shout at us arn't they? god, this writers got no imagination'

As predicted, the movie crew came and shouted, but by some plot device I can't think of right now, they became friends, and all got together to go the Halloween castle, the film crew being on the last day of filming and having lots of drink ready for the end of work party.

So the minibus set off again, this time with about 150 film people trailing behind!

All of a sudden a sputtering sound was emitted from the bus...

The bus stopped and everybody got out.
After a few drunken accusations the smell passed and they all got back in and drove off.

As they approached the castle thunder crashed and lightning struck the top gargoyle, and it toppled, falling directly at the bus...

The gargoyle came crashing down in front of the bus (missing it by a coupple of inches) and made a big crater that the bus promply fell into.
After a lot of splutring people climed out the hole.......

... and staggered in a rather curious roundabout fashion in the general direction of the castle.

'Someone grab the beer!'
shouted Peter, afraid that it might explode.

'What beer?'
someone else shouted
'We've drunk it all!'

shazz

And that's when everyone knew the truth. They were Dutch!

Cheeky... but true!

'Don't worry'
said Peter
'There should be ample supplies laid in at the castle anyway... we never run dry!'

shazz

As Peter got knocked aside in the stampede the door to the castle swung open with a loud groan, and then nearly flew off it's hinges as the party rushed inside looking for the supplies.

The lightning lit up the inside long enough for them to see that everything was covered in dust and cobwebs.

An eerie glow seeped out from underneath a nearby door.

'That must be the whisky glowing'
said Peter
'Come on everyone... lets dive in!'

shazz

Once again a door nearly flew off its hinges as the thirsty friends heard the magic word. They all stopped abrubtly as the open door revealed...

...a disco floor.

The disco dancing zombies looked slightly embarrassed.

But they simply couldn't believe that bell-bottoms, wide lapels and platform shoes weren't still stylish.

And the dead danced on...

There was a knock at the door...

One of the zombies danced off to open it, while the others welcomed Peter and Jane's friends with offers of and .

A crowd of ghouls had arrived, insisting that they knew Dave Jim Neil Mark someone passed them in the street and invited them honest and besides, they'd brought .