h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm considering changing jobs, and perusing the website of jocentre plus, I saw a job in Warrington that I liked the sound of, and the site said "for more details phone Jobseekers direct, or go to your local Jobcentre plus". So off I go to the jocentre plus in MErsey Street, warrington, and aska member of staff about this job application. She gets confused and gets me an application to work *at the jocentre*, which wasn't what I was after at all, so i explained about the job I was looking for, and she said, this, remember, from the staff of Jocentre plus:

"Oh, they've got rid of the section daling with jobs, you'll have to phone Jobseekers Direct."


The JOBcentre plus has got rid of the section dealing with *JOBS*!? Then it's just a fing centre, surely?

Bloody hell, that's two coincidences in the same day!

Coincidence 1: Yesterday afternoon, I saw someone who reminded me of you. (It's all in the hair.) He seemed to recognise me as well, though it's possible that he was just amused by my frequent changes in direction and under-the-breath mutterings.

Coincidence 2: I saw him after being sent all over Coventry by... Da da da, the JobCentre Plus!

I was trying to get my national insurance number. Apparently you can add those to the list of things which the JobCentre no longer does - they sent me off to a place which they pronounced as 'Clber Clys' (no number of repetitions would get anything more sensible out of them), and for directions they gave me a hand-pointing movement which was not only vague (they were pointing to about three or four steets), but moved around all the time, to the point where I had basically a quarter of all available directions!

I got sent to four buildings, and the first two times I got blatantly incorrect directions. At the third, the lady pronounced something rather more clearly, so I now heard the 'close' bit, and she drew a little (pretty inaccurate, but helpful) diagram. The second-to-last building was a JobCentre - turns out I had to go next door into the council offices.

I was fit to explode, I was.

- Jordan

Oh, one more beef - this time about their website:

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/cms.asp?Page=/Home

Click the little red button in the lower left-hand corner, where it says 'Nearest Office - find yours.' Say 'thank you for your help,' and close window/tab in disgust.

While you're at it, look here:

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/cms.asp?TextOnly=True&Page=/Home/AboutUs/OurOffices

'Please enter the town/city in which you live:' - how? It's a text only page! Why won't you take me to that page when I'm not on'text only?' (Set it to 'False' in the URL, and it takes you back to the homepage. Very clever, since the online office is (I suppose) the closest office.)

- Jordan

I'm glad it's not just me who gets pissed off by the Jobcentre then.

Oh, and in answer to something you raised with Master B at the meet- my hairs fairly sensible right now, thanks for asking.

It beggars belief, it really does...

'Oh, and in answer to something you raised with Master B at the meet- my hairs fairly sensible right now, thanks for asking.'

I have no evidence for that.

- Jordan

Jordan- email [email protected], and I'll send you a photo of me looking sensible. Possibly even two if you're lucky.

On the job front, I've recently applied for three- one in a library, one in the Department for Worka nd Pensions (who run the jobcentre...) and one in Customs and Excise, soon to be HM Customs and Revenue.

But for the time being, still a solictor's clerk. And as we haven't got much in the Crown Court at the minute, that's not exactly scintillating right now. Although working out how the hell to get to Knutsford for a trial next month should be fun.