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Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Started conversation Jun 11, 2004
Paul Simon wrote and recorded a song entitled "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover- http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/50-Ways-To-Leave-Your-Lover-lyrics-Paul-Simon/EC7BDC207C7395D04825698A001079B4 -but the song only actually lists six of the fifty ways:
1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. You don't need to be coy, Roy
4. Hop on the bus, Gus
5. You don't need to discuss much
6. Just drop off the key, Lee
So he's forty-four short of the full fifty.
Any ideas for others, following the structure of those six?
To get me started:
To a man having an affair with his secrteary:
7. Just give her the sack, Mac.
To a woman who's lover is allergic to birds:
8. just give him a canary, Mary.
Do you, the illustrious readers of my jopurnal, you judicious, select few, have any idea for more ways?
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
9. Say goodbye and you're gone, John
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
10. Chop an axe through her head, Fred
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
11. Get out of there quick, Rick!
You put this question to a poet with a sick mind! 
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
Oh fantastic.
12. Shove her out the waym, Ray
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
13. Say "I wanna divorce!", Boris
Need tea....back with more soon
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
I look forward to it 
14. Just slip him a pill, Jill
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Jun 11, 2004
15. Pretend to be gay, Ray
16. Become an Imam, Sam
17. Seduce the au pair, Claire
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
18. Tell her she's a phoney, Tony
19. Say "I want to remarry!", Harry
20. Move your stuff to Glasgow, Joe
21. take the car for a drive, Clive
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
22. Stab her with a pen, Len
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Jun 11, 2004
22. Elope with his mate, Kate
23. Destroy the whole planet, Janet
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
24. Put The Firm on the job, Bob
25. Change your name if you like, Mike
26. Say you've found someone sweeter, Peter
27. Push her out of the plane, Wayne
28. Say you'd like the bed higher, Zebediah
29. Leave a note on the fridge, Midge
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
30. Slip away in the dark, Mark
31. Cut yourself loose, Bruce
32. Giver her no more chances, Francis
33. Make her choke on the talcum, Malcolm
34. Down some chianti 
with her kidney, Sidney
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Jun 11, 2004
35. Start wearing her smalls, Paul
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Secretly Not Here Any More Posted Jun 11, 2004
36: Feed her some quiche, Keith
(Served on a tartan rug from your room, that should do it...)
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
You know the freakiest thing? My Dad's called Keith! 
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
37. Admit you're a Tory, Rory (sorry, couldn't resist!)
38. Say "It's not me - it's you!", Hugh
39. Pretend to be deaf, Jeff
40. Wear a boa and mince, Vince
41. Catch the next ferry, Terry
42. Pack a suitcase and leave, Steve
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
Okay, we're nearing the fifty, with the vast majority from Lucky Star. Two questions:
1) Does anyone have an address for Paul Simon's management?
2) Does anyone mind if I put this forward for the Post?
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
43) Steal her best pearl, Merle
44) Let rip a huge fart, Bart
I'm getting desperate...
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
43. Play some dangerous games, James
44. Squeeze her tight in a hug, Doug
45. Admit your financial ruin, Ewan
46. Drown her in a vat of brandy, Andy
47. Emigrate to Chile, Willy
48. Make her sick of yer rhymin', Simon!
Maybe I should consider a career in this....
Key: Complain about this post
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
- 1: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 2: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 3: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 4: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 5: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 6: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 7: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 8: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Jun 11, 2004)
- 9: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 10: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 11: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Jun 11, 2004)
- 12: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 13: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 14: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Jun 11, 2004)
- 15: Secretly Not Here Any More (Jun 11, 2004)
- 16: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 17: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 18: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 19: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 20: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
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