h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not long back from the midwife for my 38 week check. Baby seems to be healthy enough and kicked the midwife when she examined my belly as it always does, but it seems that baby's being stubborn and its head hasn't dropped into my pelvis; at this stage it should have started the descent but not this little bugger! It's also in an awkward position (its back is against my back), which makes it fairly likely that it's going to be a late baby.

Not if I can help it!

The midwife suggested the usual hot curry/sex/long walk methods to help get things goingand I've heard about many others, but I wondered if any of you lot had any good suggestions? I'd trust them more if they came from people I know!

How about hot sex while eating a long curry?

That could get messy though. I don't want to ruin the bedclothes into the bargain

Put plastic sheeting down first...

naa... no need to involve sheeting with this....
Go for a long walk with EV, whilst having hot sex, and eating thermonuclear chilli sauce covered donna kebabs... honnest... or make EV play that Song from the year he was born relaly loud until the baby pulls itself out in order to escape

Going for a long walk in Grangemouth must surely have the same effect as a hot curry. All that heat morning, noon and night.

Ye gods, I hate bagpipes!

Hmmm, maybe a casual stroll round the polyethylene plant when they're venting will work. Then again, I may come home with a laminated mouth

START!

RF

Did that work?

RF

Use psychology. Tell the baby that YOU are in no hurry at all. YOU have all the time in the world and YOU don't really care how long the baby takes to come.

If that doesn't work leave the baby in a room on its own and tell it it can't come out... until it comes out.

"make EV play that Song from the year he was born"

Blimey, I've just realised. It has to be born soon to keep the thread going:

Number 1 single when I was born: "Amazing Grace"
Number 1 single at the moment: "Grace Kelly"

Coincidence? Or something more sinister?

Earlier on we went round the supermarket pharmacy counters to find castor oil, as I read if you put a little drop in a glass of orange juice (with some sugar to get rid of the manky taste) - seems to be recommended by a few mums. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any - boo! So we had curry for tea, I've had a nice hot bath and let's just see where the rest of the evening takes us...

Castor Oil curry? I think the only place the evening will be taking you with that combination is the toilet!

Have you also tried any of the following:
Led Zep
A 36 hour (minimum) WoW session
Bribing the little dear with cash or something

Have I tried Led Zep? Well considering one of them's dead, no... Hang on, isn't it Led Zep who got me into this predicament in the first place?

The only thing a 36 hour WoW session will do to me is give me a numb bum - trust me, I've been there

I haven't tried cash yet, but I'd be scared of getting my last fiver stuck...

I notice all the comments so far are from blokes! Well, both my pregnancies went to 42 weeks. You've still got ages, perhaps another month. I was still going swimming at 41 weeks, as I was told that might help, so you could try that.

Try and avoid induction just for the convenience of the hospital or midwife. My eldest, Sunshine, was induced and has spent the last 20 years trying to catch up on the nice snooze she was having when rudely hoiked out of her cosy resting place.

Good luck!

I heard that bumbing up and down helped. So try to find a very potholed bus route to spend the day travelling on.

You may need to come down to the south east for that.

Ahhh poor baby! They come out when they're ready! Wicked woman!

Raspberry leaf tablets/tea are also recommended, but they are one of these slow things to help soften everything that you should start taking at lease 6 weeks before you are due... trouble is, no-one is bothered about baby getting baby out then...

Perhaps some visualisation and relaxation tecniques? Imagining everything getting really heavy and baby working his way down into your pelvis, this could be combined with a lovely massage, get EV to use fairly effluage (hands flat, fluid movement with pressure on heel of the hand) but in downward strokes on your back. Get a nice fluffy pillow and if possible straddle a chair so he can get to the full length of your back and you can rest your head on the pillow with your arms folded on the back of the chair.

*fairly firm effluage

Finally, some sensible comments!

My bump is absolutely huge and I'm in constant discomfort with the weight of the little darling, so I really don't want to go over my time. Last night's curry gave me a bellyache but the relaxation stuff like massage (straddling a chair is a superb idea!) is really appealing. I'm going to get EV to drive me down some bumpy roads this week - when you live in the Falkirk Council area there are plenty of those

#Couldn't you get EV to have the baby instead. Like emperor penguins or seahorses or something?

I must check that blue planet video...