h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...with a piece of tarmac on his head. "Can I have a pint please, and one for the road."

Thanks.
Other jokes I've found so far:

Conrad Polytechnic
A termite walked into a pub and said "Is the bar tender here?"

The Jester
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one asks for Blood. The second one asks for a Blood Lite. The third asks for some
hot water. The barman asks him "Why do you want water when the other vampires want blood?"
He pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making "

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The only version I've heard is
A man walks into a bar......OUCH!!

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

Cos I'm a horse!

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman 'may I have ...............................a pint of bitter please?'
'Why the big pause?' asks the barman
'Cos I'm a bear!!!!'.

Horse walks into a bar. Barman asks "Why the long face?"
Horse says "Thank you very much"

... and orders a pint of bitter. The barman gives him his drink, the tarmac pays and sits down. Another, slightly bigger piece of tarmac walks into the bar and does exactly the same. This happens several times, and pretty soon the bar is almost full of bits of tarmac. Then a red piece of tarmac walks in and orders a pint. All the other pieces of tarmac fall silent. The red piece of tarmac says "What are you all looking at?" The pieces of tarmac dive behind anything that looks like it won't be easily picked up and thrown. The barman, on the way back from bringing another piece of tarmac his drink, says "Hey, why are you all scared of the little guy?". The piece of tarmac replies "Don't you know him? He's a cycle path!"

That's the best yet! Can we add it to the article?

<BB<

Brilliant

Absolutely.