h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or not.

Y'see, this week has been a big paperwork deadline week for me. And of course, a big candy-giving day is coming up after the weekend. We've a craft fair venue tomorrow, and I haven't had time to make fudge until last night. I got 20 pounds made last night. This morning, I was using the last of my sweetened condensed milk to make a triple batch of cookies-and-cream fudge, 1 pound of which was already ordered. A triple batch yields about 6 pounds, and requires my using my smallish double boiler and a bowl in my microwave, which holds twice as much stuff to melt. This particular flavor of fudge uses white chocolate, which for some unknown-to-me reason, takes longer to melt than semi-sweet and milk chocolate. Long enough that, this morning, the double batch in the microwave boiled over and the 2 cans of sweetened condensed milk burnt before the white chocolate was melted $10 worth of ingredients, $40 worth of sellable product, all over the bottom of the microwave and having to be poured away into the trash This is the first time I've burnt any of my fudge, and I've been using this method the whole time I've been making fudge. At least the stuff in the double boiler was fine, so I can fill my order.

But it, it really hurts losing that much money right now!

OUCH!

The Fudge Gods are weeping now, surely.

Before anyone asks--yes, it was burnt past calling it toffee fudge or caramel fudge--I tasted it before I dumped it.

Aw man, that sucks. It's not just the loss of time and money - it's having to throw out so much food. I always hate that. Feels so wasteful.

If it makes you feel better, I killed our 32-year-old Kenwood mixer today. Smoke out of the engine and everything. Might have saved the dough I was making it, but will have to wait and see how well it rises.

...the dough I was making *in* it, of course.

Hi there Amy! I'm really sorry to hear you lost so much fudge! I also don't at all like 'wasting' food ... and I like fudge a lot! Hope you learn from this mistake and keep all your fudge in the future!

It really hurts when you don't have extra time in which to start over from scratch, and money is tight as well.

That's a shame, Amy. I've had misfortunes like that in the past where all I accomplished was to waste my ingredients. It's no fun, especially when you're on a tight budget.

I probably shouldn't talk about the time I tried to roast a duck in a toaster oven. First problem: the duck wouldn't fit. Undeterred, I cut it in two and put the halves in two toaster ovens. That ensured that *both* of my toaster ovens would end up with thick layers of duck grease in them.

Duck will definitely make a mess inside any oven unless it's covered. I hope it tasted good at least.

My latest disaster was just last night. I intended to make shrimp scampi but discovered I didn't have any lemons or even bottled lemon jiuce. So I decided to make an alfredo sauce for the shrimp and pasta instead. Well, the sauce separated. I suppose it tasted good enough, but I hated the texture. I sent the rest of it home with Syn. He isn't as particular as I am. And this way |I don't fel like I've easted my ingredients like I would have if the leftovers had all gone in the trash.

Come to think of it, some my experiments have crashed (but not burned) too, Hypatia. Last weekend I tried using black beans instead of peas in paella. it wasn't actually bad, but peas would have tasted much better.

The duck turned out okay, but the ovens smelled of duck fat from then on. I think I got rid of one right away, but used the other after removing as much grease as I could. . It was a valuable learning lesson, coming when I was much younger.

Duck is definitely too expensive to throw away. But then so are toaster ovens.

I'm usually good with alfredo sauce. I don't know what I did wrong.

I'm sorry, Amy. I hate throwing out food so much I have burst into tears during the act of disposing of ruined foodstuffs.

I get very upset if I drop a glass decanter full of freshly brewed coffee.