h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear poet, I read your work with interest. Yes, I believe it does show that you are a new shoot on the poetic tree. I thought for that though that ONCE UPON A TIME... was, if not totally original, very good. Though I would advise you look at the last two lines of the final verse which don't scan well.

As for the other two - I am not sure - work certainly needed on them. I will take another look at them over the weekend and try and make some more constructive comments.

What right to comment...... I have been writing poetry since I was 8 and now at 42 feel that it is ripe. I co-ran a poetry and storytelling club for 3 years. I have work out with an editor awaiting decisions on publication.

I am a new 'researcher' and will be posting some of my own work on my page shortly, in the meantime you can view one written in the 80s - the voice of a young AIDS patient, which is currently on Rutger Hauers website (he has a charity foundation to support children and pregnant women suffering with HIV & AIDs in the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Caribean). I think were I to write a poem about AIDS now it would be very different, however this still moves people.

http://www.rutgerhauer.org/OPEN/poets/0001.php

Good luck and KEEP WRITING!

Regards
Albrecht's Muse

thankyou for your critisism. i take all critisim seriously but as yours is coming from such professional grounds i will take great heed. as i say i am a new poet and still trying to find a style that suits me.
as i'm young as well my poetry can often come off as adolecent and shallow, but unfortunatly i guess i just have to wait till i have more experience of the world till i can solve that.
thankyou again for your words.
Lord Preston