A Conversation for My poem
Lord Preston's Poem - Once upon a time
Ms Neutron Started conversation Dec 5, 2002
I really liked this poem. I liked the colour changes and I enjoyed the images.
You asked for lines that weren't what I liked :
"..paradise / ........ birds, the mice" was a bit contrived for my liking.
and "the blood ruptured from my knee" wasn't something I could imagine.
I was OK with the Rugby reference after a romantic stroll because it was a surprise - but, I think it was "ruptured" that jarred.
(I read the comments added before mine and everyone seemed to skirt your request for specifics - weenies ... I'll stick my neck out and will post one of mine, in my personal space, for you to critique and perhaps to judge if my comments are worth taking seriously)
Ms Neutron
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Lord Preston's Poem - Once upon a time
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