h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I awoke on the sixth day to the sight of a camera pointed at me through the slightly open door of my room.

"Who's there!?" I exclaimed crossly.

"It's me, Uncle Pell," said Scribbles, lowering the camera and uneasily poking his head around the edge of the door.

"Why are you sneaking around?" I asked.

"I'm paid to write this story about you," he said. "Without my writing, there'd be no trip. I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable."

"They don't even give you a cameraman?"

"They don't have a big budget. Even the yacht had to be borrowed from a rich member of the magazine's advisory board. Anyway, I'll be riding the bus with you and Colin today. We change buses at least three times between here and Dover. We'll need to get on our way soon, as we've a long day ahead of us. And, yes, I'll be busy snapping pictures much of the way. Let's hope the fog isn't too thick..."

On our way to the bus stop, we passed ashes from a huge bonfire. "You missed the excitement last night. You know, Guy Fawkes Day," Scribbles said.

"Well, with all the fire around, they still didn't manage to burn down the Dark Satanic Mill," I muttered.

"Why would they want to do that?" Colin wondered.

"It blocked my view of picturesque Falmouth," I explained.

About the bus trips themselves I remember little, as I was too tired from the previous day's rowing to pay as much attention as I would have liked. Scribbles assured me that he was videotaping the views from the bus windows so I could catch up after the trip was over.

Be that as it may be, We went from Falmouth to Redruth, from Redruth to London's Victoria Station, and from Victoria Station to Dover. Much of it was a blur of village centers, fields [with or without cows], autumn foliage that was probably more colorful back home in Massachusetts, and city streets. As we approached Dover, of course, the sea began to beckon from a distance again.

When I awoke from my many naps, I hoped to listen in on conversations by the other passengers, but many of them were in languages I didn't understand...

When we were almost to Dover, Scribbles clapped his hand on my shoulder and said, "You're having a great time, Uncle Pell!"

"I am?"

"Yes, you are, only you won 't realize it until later when you see this video footage."

[Amy P]

Dear friend, you should not think too much about this - as it is of course a coincident (albeit a strange one) - BUT our good friend Pastey

http://h2g2.com/user/U45177

is not only among those running h2g2 - he is also a master brewer of finest and

AND among his brews is the highly praised - wait for it! - Satanic Mills

http://beernouveau.co.uk/beer/house-beers/satanic-mills/

God speed on your travels and thanks for an entertaining NaJoPoMa

I love to find out what's reported in the video footage.

Yes, that's quite a coincidence.

I was having a bit of fun with the idea that the previous century's mills have often been rehabilitated as museums. The U.S. has many such examples, and they not coincidentally seem to be accompanied by posh eateries and shopping arcades. So when I was looking for things to say about England, I found the same mill-to-museum mentality at work, even in places like Falmouth. Tourists love to persuade themselves that it's fun to educate themselves about a destination's history and culture. And who's going to be above making a bit of money off tourist misconceptions based on famous songs?