h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 28: Two Years Later

Once the excitement of the expedition wore off, I realized that I was changing. The first sign of this was my realization that I could understand the Oracle Tree without using headphones. Not that the tree had much to say for a while. He/she was extremely sad at the loss of the One Tree and the other trees on the Island.

I began to wonder whether trees became more human -- or, at least, more like animals in general -- when they became sentient. When I mentioned this thought to the Tree one day, he/she replied that perhaps I was also becoming more like a plant. Andrea Doria happened along when we were deep in discussion, and she offered a third theory: that plants and animals are joined at the hip. "Humans and cabbages share 40 to 50% of their DNA," she said." And we share up to 60% with bananas."

"How about similarities with Arborvillas?" the Oracle Tree asked shyly.

"Scientists have only just discovered you," Andrea Doria said in a kindly voice. "Maybe you'll turn out to be even higher than that, but we will care for you no matter what, right, Owen?"

"Right!" I exclaimed.

Uncle Floyd's pizza restaurant -- which he called Heregoesnuthin' Pizzas after his beloved ship -- was a huge success once he had the Maht Surreala pizzas analyzed and imitated.

Ulysses' Lotus bakery was next door, and customers were soon bursting down the doors to sample his products. It didn't hurt that Aunt Horrifia sat outside by the door, handing out samples of Ulysses' cake with the help of a pretty girl dressed in period attire.

The Arborvilla trees were growing well in the former pineapple fields. Andrea Doria's expedition in search of surviving branches from the One Tree had not yielded many viable specimens -- only about 150, of which maybe 50 took root in the fields. Still, Andrea Doria found a way to keep their morale up until they were over their initial shock and bereavement.

"Soon their roots will reach out and intermingle, and they will begin to see themselves as parts of one organism," Andrea told me. "I hope this will help them reassemble their memory banks. Scientists will someday want to recapture some of the wisdom that was stored up over ten thousand years..."

When we were on the island, Tish Maelstrom and Starr Buckman had amused themselves by filming us. I thought nothing of it at the time, but later I found that they had filmed the whole expedition. About a month after we got set up in Maui, Tish's boy friend happened to be talking about the film footage with his boss at the movie studio where he worked. The studio became very excited by what they saw. Soon we were all signed to a documentary project. The documentary was released in theaters last week, and already it's being talked about as an Oscar contender.

We must have invented a better mousetrap, for now the world is beating a path to our door. Crowds gather around the Oracle Tree every day now. The attention is doing wonders for the Tree's mood. I can't wait to see where this leads....

I don't want this to end I'm enjoying it too much

There will be an epilogue, which I will concoct tomorrow.

Uncle Floyd will do his best to corrupt Owen's impressionable young grandchildren. Aunt Horrifia will die and be replaced by a robot that looks just like her, and no one will notice the difference.

But I'm grown weary from trying to think of directions for this story to go. There is an almost Zen-like quality about the One Tree, so my readers will likely want the many rooted branches of that tree to coalesce by intermingling their roots and remembering the Tree's wisdom. But if I do that in this story, there will be nothing left to do if someday I want to write a sequel.

So, some things will have to be left up in the air. Sorry, it just has to be that way. As someone who likes to be able to imagine and reimagine stories, I want my readers to have the pleasure of tying up the loose ends any way they want. I will leave hints, of course, but what you do with them is your job.

Tomorrow will be the epilogue, which reviews events in the ten years since Chapter 27. Stay tuned.

Do hope you return to this someday, look forward to next November!

[Amy P]

I look forward to reading tomorrows epilogue. From the very start of reading your story, it has been a very enjoyable read.

Thank you. For years I've been wanting to create a story about trees that communicate with people and grow houses that need no carpentry.