h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 25

I pressed the button for Times Square, but nothing happened. Then I noticed a small screen at the top of the Wormhole Generator. "Population density too high!" It cautioned.
"Permission to levitate above the destination? Press Enter."

I now noticed an Enter button at the bottom, so I pressed it. Pete and his wife were banging on the sides of the ship now, but the noise stopped as we descended into a wormhole that was beneath the ship.

The next thing I knew, the ship was hanging suspended eight feet above Times Square. Some of the people screamed in terror and ran as soon as they saw us. Others went on about their business as if ships appeared above them every day. A third group assumed that we were part of some regularly scheduled media event, or perhaps a film location. This meant that plenty of celebrities were likely to bepresent, so they dragged out their autograph books and came running.

We had no other options but to cautiously descend into the square, so we let the gangplank down. The crowds parted to let us do so. As I reached the sidewalk I couldn't help noticing an elderly lady in a wheelchair who was there with a much younger woman and a trolley filled with cake and stacks of fancy little plates.

"Un peu de gateau, Monsieur?" she said, gesturing to the younger woman to slice off a piece and hand it to me.

Suddenly I recognized her. "Aunt Horrifia?" I gasped.

"Grandma? Penny?" Ulysses said beside me, equally surprised. Realizing that I had no idea what was going on, he turned to me and introduced us. "You remember that I told you my grandfather hired me for his bakery years ago, Owen? Well, he was married to your Aunt Horrifia, after the royal connection failed to pan out. Penny here is my twin sister."

"That and a piece of cake will get you very little, Owen," Penny said, rolling her eyes as she shook my hand. "I inherited the bakery while my brother got to travel the world with the inestimable Uncle Floyd. Now I'm keeping my grandmother out of trouble in my copious spare time."

"Couldn't your parents help you out with that?" I wondered, bracing myself for more tales of family dysfunction.

"They think they've paid their dues," she said with a shrug. "They're in some huge trailer park where every trailer looks the same. That makes finding them difficult. They even get lost themselves sometimes. I have yet to track them down..."

Excellent!

Marie Antoinette gets more attention in Philadelphia around Bastille Day. Every year, they re-enact the storming of the Bastille at Eastern State Penitentiary. She proclaims 'Let them eat Tastykake!' and her minions throw unhealthy snack food at the crowd. It's Philly, after all, home of the cheesesteak and other culinary wonders.

Then it's off to the guillotine, which does a great job on watermelons...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOTO4_siEfE

"Lost in the Trailer Park" could be a sequel spinoff next November.

And easier to illustrate than bald alien cheese squirting sheep!

I agree, but I definitely feel sheepish admitting it.

I may have to have a go, it's certainly a challenge!

[Amy P]

I look forward to the reading the next chapters to find out where your story is taking us.

It's almost done.