h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 28: One Year Later

A87815181

Viola sat by Grandpa’s bedside and waited for him to wake up from his nap. The doctors said he didn’t have long to live. That was probably true, but she doubted he would have a “normal” death. Hadn’t Cousin Yolanda said that nothing expected ever happened in the Blemnox Family? For one thing, Grandpa had packed a suitcase. How many people brought luggage to the afterlife?

Viola thought about all the things that had happened in the year since the space capsule touched down in the lake. Something more devastating touched down in Litestvia a short time after that: A piece of space junk hit the castle where the royal family was staying. Princess Alice, the only survivor, found her way through the woods to safety (she was unusual in that she had a good sense of direction). She knocked on the door of Candide and Calamitas, descendants of Augustus Mardachian‘s brother. On seeing the pictures of Blemnox that Candide showed her, she vowed to go there. She urged her subjects to form a democracy. Then she abdicated. A week later, Jasper showed her through the labyrinth, and she didn’t get lost. She did, however fall in love with him. Now they were husband and wife, with twins on the way.

Ravena no longer avoided Bottles, largely because Viola talked turkey to her just before Thanksgiving. “Mom, the Blemnoxes* stay nutty by continually choosing nutty people for their spouses. I’ll take you, for example. You disappeared from a maze so you could write a tell-all book about your inlaws. That’s as nutty as it gets. Welcome to the family!” There was talk about reconciliation, though no one expected Ravena and Bottles to spend much time together. Ravena was camped out in the old groundskeeper’s cottage, writing the great American novel. There was a hunting lodge at the other end of the estate, where Bottles was making plans to terraplane the asteroid that had discovered him. A short distance away, somebody from NASA had him under surveillance.

One other thing that had changed: the Mardachis had all changed their surname to Blemnox.

The last year had seen a great deal of activity on the estate. The park opened for business in April, and pulled in a great many visitors. The star attraction was the space station, which Viola’s father had almost finished at the time of his unintended launch into space. He had been working on it for years in a rented hangar at the nearest airport. NASA had begged him to sell it to them. He could have made billions on the sale, but the publicity that surrounded its unveiling sparked enormous public desire to see it. He did sell the plans for it to NASA. They were happy to have them, but their real goal was to make sure the inventor that created them stayed on Planet Earth.

Many family members had snagged jobs running the Park: Even Viola had a job, as coordinator of special events. Blake still worked for Badkarmastan. He was there now, helping them rebuild after their latest disaster: hundreds had drowned in a tsunami caused by heavy rain in the hills around Kaput and Amok. As a landlocked country far from any bodies of water, Badkarmastan had few citizens who knew how to swim. Humanitarian aid was rushing in from other countries on the theory that letting Badkarmastan go under would allow bad luck to strike elsewhere.

Grandpa’s breathing began to grow more feeble. Suddenly Viola noticed singing coming from the field outside the bedroom window. She hoped that the potatoes weren’t singing again. But no, the singing was coming from a cluster of wuheebies right below the window. The sound died down somewhat, but reappeared in the hallway. The door was nudged open and several wuheebies came through. Before Viola could react, they were gently lifting Grandpa out of his bed and onto a scooter that they had brought for him.

Although she thought this behavior was strange, Viola found herself unable to muster the resolve to stop them. She had the odd feeling that she recognized some of them. Could it be that Grandpa was going to turn into one of them? No, that couldn’t be right……could it? Or maybe wuheebies were attuned to the ghosts of Blemnoxes* who had gone before. Viola honestly didn’t know. The singing was growing louder now. She went over to the window and watched the wuheebies solemnly wheel Grandpa away, presumably to some special burial place.

Jasper and his wife were about to open the front door, where they were going to find Candide and Calamitas Mardachian waiting, clutching potted Litestvian trees in their arms. Behind them, a long stream of other Litestvians [also carrying trees] would be lined up, hoping to get the blessing of Princess Alice for their desire to settle in the neighborhood and plant their trees. Jasper would agree that the area could use more trees. Former Princess Alice would agree that she missed her former countrymen, and would be happy to be able to see them occasionally. KR3BS would be on the verge of giving up on his goal of juggling the good china while walking the tightrope, under Grandma’s tutelage. This was due to the fact that there was hardly any good china left.

But that would not be part of this story. This story is done.

The End……..Maybe


*Purists prefer “Blemnoxen” as the plural form of “Blemnox.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" ... letting Badkarmastan go under would allow bad luck to strike elsewhere ... "

That's a very clever sentence

The end, with 2 days to go? Hm, we'll see

Deb

The prologue is coming tomorrow.

It's Blemnoxian, Deb, anything could happen

Maybe there are only 29 days in the Blemnoxian calendar?

Anything but Blemnoxbridgian.

[Amy P]