h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[The story so far: Viola shows Blake how similar the facades of Blemnox are to classic American homes such as Jefferson’s Monticello, the White House in Washington, D.C., and John Adams’s “Piece Field.” The west side, however, doesn’t seem to resemble any other buildings. However, it sits next to a hedge labyrinth, which contains a scarf that resembles one owned by Viola’s mother.]

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“Blake, I feel sure that my mother is in this labyrinth,” Viola said. “I must go and find her.”

“Because you think her scarf is there?” Blake exclaimed. “Maybe other people had scarves just like it.”

“It’s monogrammed with her initials,” Viola pointed out, “and I smell her perfume on it.”

“I have to go with you, then,” Blake insisted. “My employer now thinks that our enemies are going to try to get at me by attacking you. Let me come with you. I will keep you from harm.”

“What are these enemies like?” Viola asked as they wandering down pathway after pathway. “I’d like to know what to look out for.”

“Words cannot express how odious our enemies are,” Blake said sternly. “Even when they’re trying to be *nice* they fall short. They put ketchup on rhubarb, refuse to recycle, and wear white after Labor Day.”

“Let’s have them over for dinner.”

“Murder would be on the menu. But seriously, you’ve seen how good they were at corrupting our geese and destroying our house. Our enemies are behind most of the assassinations in Badkarmastan.”

“Only most?”

“It’s a competitive field.”

“That’s why the obituary section in the daily paper is so large. We aren’t in Badkarmastan any more, though. One goose has attacked us here, but since then nothing else has happened,” Viola said.

“It’s a plus for them that we’re out of Badkarmastan. I used the chip in that goose’s neck to create a goose-detector, so we’re safe on that front. My employer wants me to stay here and make sure you are safe.”

“Yes, but where is *here*?” Viola lamented. “We’re lost. In this labyrinth. Just like my mother was.” Just then her foot struck the handle of a trap door in the ground. With deep sighs, they opened the door and descended a ladder to a tunnel which led to the basement of the house. Just as they got up the stairs to the main floor, there was a deafening boom.

“What was that noise?” Viola exclaimed.

“A sonic boom,” Blake said. “Your grandmother has returned, plus our neighbors are going to be up in arms at all the noise her plane is making.”

Is now a good time to ask what's wrong with ketchup on rhubarb

Nah, probably not

Consider the question not-asked

[Amy P]

Deb

Tomorrow's installment is already finished, and I have ideas for the day after as well, when the whales arrive.

Whales How big is this maze exactly?

Well, either they will have to be freshwater whales [of which there are no none species], or some salt will have to be thrown into Blemnox's lake. I'm still working on it. I just think that "The Whales of Blemnox" would be a good title for a chapter.

[no *known* species, that is]

I've just thought of a solution. You'll find out what it is when I post tomorrows's episode.