h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"How do I get into these messes?" Paulh grumbled as he stood in the street in a western town. The sun was overhead, and he was about to fight a duel with Anna Karenina's husband and her lover. Strangely, both were named Alexei. As the one most likely to be killed or injured, Paulh had been allowed to choose weapons. He went with the least lethal one he could think of.

Dom de Luise and Cleavon Little brought him a stack of Boston Cream Pies. Larry, Moe and Curly could be seen carrying chocolate cream pies to one of the Alexeis. The other Alexei was holding one of the banana cream pies that the Marx Brothers had given him. Along the street were many aficionados of the pie fight: Margaret Dumont, Laurel and Hardy, the entire cast of "The Great Race," Doctor Strangelove, Fatty
Arbuckle, Charlie Chaplin, Ed Wynn, and Harold Lloyd.

Chuck Barris was master of ceremonies. "When I strike the gong, you are to raise your weapon, count to three, and throw it at your opponent," he declared. "You are allowed five pies. The only hits that count are the ones that land full in the face." He hit the gong.

Paulh counted to three and threw his pie at one of the Alexeis, hitting him square in the face. Paulh ducked as the two Alexeis' pies flew at one another. Surprisingly, Paulh was the only one who was not hit. Well, he thought to himself, maybe I can find happiness with beautiful Anna after all. When he looked around, he saw that she was being led to a sleek limousine by Clark Gable. "Drat! I can never hope to compete with him," Paulh muttered, retiring to the town saloon to drink himself into a stupor....

Beautiful.

A good pie fight is truly a great work of art.

aor

[Amy P]