h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Paulh was enjoying chowder in Boston's most venerable restaurant when he felt something wet on his arm. Turning, he saw a mermaid who was apparently quite smitten with him. "This won't work out," he told her gently. "I can't breathe underwater, and you would dry out and die quickly in the air. Would you like me to fix you up with Moby Dick?"

She bent over and removed her tail, revealing two shapely legs.

Before he could respond to this, Paulh was ushered to the head of the room for a speech. Imagine his surprise when he opened his mouth and found that he could only speak in Mayan! It happened that a Mayan expert was in the room, and was able to translate the words for all present. Paulh's speech, in translation, was:

"I am channelling the head priest of the ancient Mayans. He has an important message for you regarding the Mayan calendar. A serious error was made in the calendar. The end of the world will come 30 days earlier than our calendar indicates."

"Thirty days?" exclaimed the Mayor of Boston. "Today is November 21. That means the world will end *today* rather than December 21!"

Pandemonium ensued.

From your mouth to God's ear, is all I can say...

I have to write ten more daily journals whether the world ends today or not. The things a writer has to put up with for his art!

I know, innit awful?

"I have to write ten more daily journals whether the world ends today or not"

that could be total darknessyou'd best get some candles in, so you can see to write

Yeah, remember what Colonel Davenport said: A87758914

Presumably the world but be gone but the rest of the universe would remain intact. The Moon might be brighter because there would no longer be anything to block the Sun's rays from getting to it. Fortunately, Paulh has a lunar-powered lamp.

[Amy P]