h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The best character... it's either Marvin (of course) or Gargravarr. And Bird One was great too! Honourable mentions: the Golgafrinchan Captain ("One's never alone with a rubber duck!") and the Doors on the Heart of Gold...

The best moment is even harder to decide on. My vote goes for the 'Middle-school Life, The Universe and Everything' scene, with the computeach. "Good morning, Life Form. Are you sitting comfortably? Then stand up."

Priceless.

rofl

"But what about my pears Gallumbit?"

sorry but that is just no match for;
"And bingo i get to press the button again!"

"Wait for permission!"

"press the other button"

"The Shoe Event Horizon!"

"/More/ shoe shops!"

And of course Hig Hurtenflurst's fantastic "I only happen to be..." speech.

Prisoners, sieze yourselves!

(Hig on Arthur and Lintilla) "I've decided to take them back to my office and like them. I think I'd like them on the wall best. See to it."

Arthur: "What's the matter with him?"
Hig: "His feet are the wrong size for his shoes."

There are simply too many good moments... But the stuff on Brontitorr was especially good.

Marvin: "Oh, look. I seem to be lying at the bottom of a deep, dark hole. This seems a familiar concept: what does it remind me of? Ah, yes. Life."

Uh uh... it was Brontitall. Have you washed your ears lately?

I wrote some more book the other day... about three paragraphs. Writer's block has set in again...

The most amazing quote:

Barman:"Do you really think the world's going to end Sir?"
Ford Prefect:"Yes in just over 11 minutes and thirty seconds."
Barman:"Well isn't there anything we can do?"
Ford Prefect:"No, nothing."
Barman:"I always thought you were supposed to lie down and put a paper bag over your head or something?"
Ford Prefect:"Yes, if you like."
Barman:"Well will that help?"
Ford Prefect:"No. Excuse me I've got to go find my friend..."

Pure poetry once again!

The most amazing quote:

Barman: "Do you really think the world's going to end Sir?"
Ford Prefect: "Yes in just over 11 minutes and thirty seconds."
Barman: "Well isn't there anything we can do?"
Ford Prefect: "No, nothing."
Barman: "I always thought you were supposed to lie down and put a paper bag over your head or something?"
Ford Prefect: "Yes, if you like."
Barman: "Well will that help?"
Ford Prefect: "No. Excuse me I've got to go find my friend..."

Pure poetry once again!

Then again there's:

"I've discovered that if I put my right finger in my left ear I can electricute myself."

Wow!

Zaphod: This marble is as slippery as... What's the slipperyest thing you can think of?
Ford: This moment? This marble.
Zaphod: This marble is as slippery as this marble...

And then of course he slides off, and we are treated to tbe most fantastic Guide interjection on the subject of swearing, and that most fantastic of phrases

"Holy Zarquon's singing fish!"

A big hand please, for the Great Prophet Zarquon.
It truly is a highly specialised expression...

Another thought: how could I forget the singing robots??!!!

"Share and enjoy
Share and enjoy
Journey through life
With a plastic boy
Or girl by your side
Let your pal be your guide
And when it breaks down
Or starts to annoy
Or grinds when it moves
And brings you no joy
If it's eaten your hat
Or had sex with your cat
Poured oil on the wall
Or ripped off your door
When it gets to the point
You can't stand any more:
Bring it to us
We won't give a fig;
We'll tell you
[dah dah dah]
Go stick your head in a pig!
[dah dah dah]"

I think those are the right words... I'm sure that MaW will tell me if it's wrong

A big hand please, for the Great Prophet Zarquon.
It truly is a highly specialised expression...

Another thought: how could I forget the singing robots??!!!

"Share and enjoy
Share and enjoy
Journey through life
With a plastic boy
Or girl by your side
Let your pal be your guide
And when it breaks down
Or starts to annoy
Or grinds when it moves
And brings you no joy
If it's eaten your hat
Or had sex with your cat
Poured oil on the wall
Or ripped off your door
When it gets to the point
You can't stand any more:
Bring it to us
We won't give a fig;
We'll tell you
[dah dah dah]
Go stick your head in a pig!
[dah dah dah]"

I think those are the right words... I'm sure that MaW will tell me if it's wrong

Yeah but what about in the old airport!

Zaphod: "What are those things eggs come out off?"

Ford: "Birds?!"

Zaphod: "No, what do they come out of the birds in?"

Ford: "Egg shells?!"

Zaphod: "Yeah, like huge broken egg shells!"

Lord Preston *sings "two little boys" as load as he can*

Yes Zem, I think you got the words right...

I also like

Marvin: No government owns it. It's been stolen.
Ford and Arthur: Stolen?!?
Marvin: Stolen?!?
Ford: Who by?
Marvin: Zaphod Beeblebrox
Ford: Zaphod Beeblebrox!
Marvin: Sorry, did I say something wrong? Pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don't know why I even bothered to say that oh God I'm so depressed.

I think that's right, anyway. It's the utterances of "Stolen?!?" that really make that scene...