h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's back again!

YES!
*laughing uncontrollably*

*thumps Aries*

*s and s at the same time*

*thumps harder*

*carries on ing*

Aren't you finished yet!

Will one of you please stop goofing around long enough to tell turvey where the s are? Sheesh!!!


Ok, turvey, there's this table directly in front of you, and there are still a couple of s on it - to help yourself to one of those. We had to take to leaving them right out in the open like that because the Gook isn't around too often these days to hand them out.

Have you given any thought to what kind of uniform you will be requiring? Many Thingites opt for the classic purple rubber kilt, others prefer a toga, while still others have come up with truly extraordinary uniforms to suit their needs...Whatever you decide you want, I'm sure we can find it here in the Armory, if we just look around a little bit....

Make it as funny as you like!
I think someone set off one of those nitrous oxide grenades!

*reaches for and nearly looses balance on the edge of the rift in Space/Time*

Got it - one Titanium . I feel like a Thingite now. *look round for a Thingite to feel*.

*Sotto Voce to self* - The old ones are the best.?!

As far as a uniform is concerned, the purple rubber sounds right. However as a car park attendent I would need a dirty brown caretakers coat to wear over the rubber, a pair of mirror-bright, black Jack Boots, an enormous roll of small pink car park tickets hung from my belt by a piece of orange nylon string. You know, the ones that have a tendency to fall of the dash board and result in a parking fine! And, of course a peaked cap.

An endless supply of half smoked roll-up cigs in the coats numerous pockets and a small number of open Werthers Originals in the same pockets to give to kiddies.

As for weapons. I think a lead cosh and a couple of billiard balls in a sock would do for starters. Oh! And a baseball bat with a nail through it to keep in my little hut.

How's that for starters?

turvy

*is so lost thats it the only thing left thats not funny*

i knew that would happen

I think the brown caretakers coats (with pockets already fully stocked) are located in the closet marked "green overalls", and that you'll find the black Jack Boots in the freezer just next to the Italian Ice.

The pink car park ticket supply should be in the file drawer marked "poisonous spiders", and the peaked caps should be over there in the footlocker with the sign that says "danger, live octopuses inside!"


As far as weapons are concerned, our preferred weapon is a titanium but there have been those who felt the need for more individulalized weapons... If you rummage around over there in the room with the sign on the door that says "pink tutus", I'm sure you'll find everything you need.

*heads off in search of various bits of kit*

Tuneless

*opens closet - gets buried under an avalanch of empty tobacco pouches, Rizla packets, Werthers wrappers and misc. detritus*







*emerges sucking a Werthers and roots around for a over-large brown coat* Aha! This one will do nicely.


*goes to freezer for the Jack Boots. Pulls a pair on* How do I look?

*opens file drawer - puts hand in for tickets - recoils as HUGE!! s up arm* *finds roll of 29746 tickets and ties them to coat though a small tear then frays ends of string for aesthetic purposes*

*reaches into foot locker - pulls out and discards a number of smelly trainers and a solitary pit boot - finds cap which fits perfectly* Well, at least I didn't find the octopus.

*looks worried as slimey tentacled arm emerges from cap and slips around neck*.........!

*staggers off to pink tutu room - emerges from there with pink tutu over dirty brown coat* Do you think this is an improvement? *does a twirl holding aloft*

turvy

Very nice.

That's amazing. No one else in the entire history of the Armory has ever found the items that were purported to be in the places indicated by the labels. For instance, the pink tutus are normally found in the drawer marked "dice, snake skins and shoe horns". You see, after you're here a while, you start to figure out where things are because you've searched around so often, but nobody has taken the time to change the labels on everything.

Not that we'd want them to do that at this point, because if they did, we wouldn't know where to find anything anymore, since the night vision goggles have *always* been found on the top shelf in the box marked "banana peels" and the regular goggles have always been over there in the back of the closet labeled "crude oil". The organization is much the same for everything here.

It must come from being tied to F1 in some strange, Quantum way .



t.

why does no one reply to the stuff in my space? just wondering

QA GOS

Go on then...Why does no one reply to anything in your PS?
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..oh OK then


*stops holding baited breath*

turyv

-*is lost..... again*