h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It appears that my hair is falling out

I've just come back from getting my hair cut - a number 1 crop, so only a few millimetres of hair length. And I've noticed that there is a small bald patch about the size of a 50p piece, on the back of my head.

It's not male pattern baldness - the hair isn't thining, it's gone. It also isn't in the right place for male pattern as it is off to one side of the crown of my head. This makes me think that it is alopecia of some type or another.

To be honest this doesn't come as the greatest of surprises to me. My beard has been going bald for about 3 years now. Truth be told, I never ever had the thickest of hair growth on me chops, but I did have enough to grow a pretty funky goatie beard. I first grew one about 10 years ago, and kept for about the next six. Nowadays my chin and most of the rest of my face is completely bald, with just the odd sprig and patch left.

Well now it looks like the process has spread

What I'll now do is a bit of research and digging about on baldness conditions. If it looks terminal for my hair, then I'll go back down to the barbers and have the whole lot taken off. After that I'll wander towards Boots and get myself a shit-kicking electric razor and be completely bald for the rest of my life!

Oh good heavens, GB! Get a life!

You wanna talk about hair? I have this thing that looks like a demented poodle sitting on the top of my head unless I either gel it down or blast it to smithereens with a blow dryer (which only works in rare situations of 0% humidity).

Having hair is not all that it's cracked up to be!

az

Damn straight - that's why I took all mine off, and three or four times a week go through the irksome task of spending 20 minutes shaving me bonce. It's a pain, but it's worth it.

Remember when balding men used to (well some still do I suppose) grow the part of their hair that still was there and then combed it over to create a 'semblance' of having hair? I mean, how pathetic was that?

On that theme, balding men with long ponytails also look totally ick.

Most balding men I know now get a very short buzz cut that actually suits them much better.

Not so many do the totally shaving thing that you do, Gosho, but to each his own. The thing is to not ever feel somehow apologetic for not having tons of hair on one's head. I mean, it's just hair. Or not.

az

It was known in Britain as a 'Jackie Charlton', after a footballer who sported it...

I always said the only dignified thing to do when facing hair loss is to get the clippers out.

Now I'm actually faced with it, I tried it. And realised that, for the moment, it only serves to emphasise how thin it's going - but there's still quite a lot of hair still there and I actually look less bald with it grown a little bit longer.

I don't mind going bald, it's just that as I'm not 30 yet, and have recently become single - well, it's not quite the ideal time.

I'm sure it was Bobby charlton who had the combover...

They both did... Bobby more famously if you ask me, in the old matches you see his strands flapping like a flag when he runs.

But I've only ever heard the hairstyle referred to as a Jackie Charlton. Maybe Big Jack's easier to be disrespectful about.

It's Big Jack's fault that we're Leeds fans in my house...

Come to think of it, a fair few of my heroes are bald. Pierluigi Collina, Brian Glover, Yordan Letchkov, Telly Savalas, Attilio Lombardo, Gary McAllister. And there must be a few more non-footballing ones...

Bobby Charlton's the most famous combover, but who could forget Gregor Fisher's 'Baldy man' in the Naked Video....

Perhaps you should take a refereeing course, GD? You could be the new Pierluigi Collina!

Hmm, I think with my body shape I'm more likely to be the new Phil Mitchell

Err, only a Phil Mitchel that been involved in an unfortunate squashing incident

one of the best little quips i heard during the euro was in the hol-swe quarterfinal when larsson and stam were dueling in the corner, "not much hair over there!"

I had a bout of it a couple of years ago, doctor reckons it was stress-related. And, seeing as I'm female and was only 19 at the time, it wasn't very pleasant...

my advice to those with pattern baldness: live with it!
and to those without: drop dead you lucky stiffs!

It's not looking like I'm getting your standard pattern baldness, as another bald spot has started on the side of my head.

I haven't had time to do any thorough research about this yet, but I would say that the purchase of a heavy-duty electric razor is looking increasingly likely for this weekend - ie more bloody expense

Indeed, riotact, I remember a male friend in Bristol once telling me that male baldness is the *least* men can go through to balance out what women are constantly faced with socially in terms of being considered 'attractive'.

Made some sense at the time.

az

Putting it baldly, GD, the long and the short of it is that you should really see a about this.

I've a new problem now...




It's a small tanned spot on the top of my white, shiny and entirely shaved bald head