h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another punishment drink I saw once was one some of my collegues used a few years back on a skiing trip to Andorra.
It was pale yellowish and the bottle had two dead lizards (real ones!) at the bottom.

Dunno what is was called though. It wasn't very nice.

cow juice

Cow juice?
As in squeezed cow or like milk? (Milk is not too bad.. rather have milk on my cereals than orange juice)

Cow Juice
You know, the white stuff that comes out of cows (the dopey ones with udders, not the angry ones with horns!)

Ah...
no, I'd rather have cow juice than orange juice when it comes to cereals and coffee..

curdled Cow Juice...

The muck they dare to call at work

Whale vomit and tonic.

Or else any coffee in England. I'm not sure which is worse. I see why you lot all drink tea.

How about Placenta Milkshake or Afterbirth Shandy?

Rama

How about salty orange juice?

How about milk with mustard in it - my sister once gave that to my other sister.









Myriad.

TPPD - True Post Party Diesel

Diesel basically is any mix of drinks that you are not supposed to mix. Ordering a diesel at a bar in Glasgow will have you serve the surprisingly nice snakebite and black mix - Half a pint of cider, half a pint of lager and a shot of balckcurrant juice.
However True Post-party diesel is something entirely different. I should know. I've actually drunk it as a bet gone wrong.
Basically it can only be made at the end of bring-a-bottle party. When almost everyone has gone home the survivors collect all the almost empty bottles (or better, the bottles that no-one touches because the drink in it is absolute skank.) And pour all the dregs into the largest glass you have. At a good party this will mix beer, cider, wine and numerous spirits, liquers, alcopops and non-alcoholic mixers.
Beleive me two types of Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Carlsberg, Tennants, Lambrusco, Strongbow, Cola, Irn Bru and worst of all, Baileys DO NOT MIX! EVER!

The baileys was curdling. The drinks were forming layers. And I was sitting on a kitchen table, so pissed I actually thought this concoction may not be lethal, trying to down it as quickly as possible to get it over with. This was how the girl-who-was-holding-the-party's parents found me when they came home early.

Fun.

Anyway, I think we need a new subject. How about.

Worlds Worst...Things to say in a job interview.

"I don't really want to be an accountant" said my mate thoughtfully one time.

" so why did yo apply to an accountancy firm then<?>" came back the reply.

needless to say he didn't hear from them again

"Past job experience? Well, I worked at Charlie's Angel strip club on Pole #3 . . ."

DADDY!!!!

"Why did I leave my last job? Well I did spend all the company's money down at Charlies Angel strip club... ...hey I know you!"

I worked for peanuts at my previous job...mmm...they were so tasty as well .....WIBBLE!!!!!

I'm going to risk sounding very American here, but what's soggy bisciut?

In England its spelt biscuit

You REALLY don't want to know (I know I don't, and I do,,,)