h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Marie, a girl destined to go far,
Fell for any drunk with a car;
They hit a big rock
And then she was shot
Throught the windshield and over the bar!

Trillian's Child, I hate to digress,
but I'm not under THAT kind of stress.
For the problem inherent
is my girl's a proud parent
of a brand new American Express!

I think it is mighty drastic
To resort to the pleasures of plastic.
Far from a saint,
Why not use restraint
And just hold her back with elastic?

Whichever fool were to work up the gall
to try and keep her from the mall
would soon find that his heart
had been shredded apart
though she'd buy him a new one, the doll.

I must confess
That in distress
I have cut your poor heart into ribbons.
To make up for it, a GC for Gibbon's
Hearts And The Rest.

My friends, I have gone through a change
in my life that might seem a bit strange
I will now take a crack
`ala Jack Kerouac
at wandering the open range!

I will be checking with regularity
this site, without much disparity
for I'd hate to lose
my one chance to schmooze
with folks of such high class hilarity!

*(Really guys. I'll be around. Keep up the good work and I'll see you soon. See my space for details. Later!)

So NukeCon, you're out of the Navy.
You must feel like you're swimming in gravy!
Now you're off down the track
Like the bold Kerouac.
May your trip be both groovy and wavey.

Now that's more like Fear and Loathing
In Las Vegas, when one is out roaming
With booze and drugs
And flooze and thugs,
Until you're broken and mouth is left foaming.

Where Nuke has decided to go,
He will drift and just "go with the flow."
When you take to the road,
There's no fear, there's no goad -
Every turning has something to show.

There is a great fellow named Nuke
Who took to the road like a fluke
takes to blood of a sheep
And now we can sleep
Better knowing that on us, he won't puke.

A vampire I'm sure he is not,
But if road-fever's what he has got,
It's just "freedom or bust,"
We won't see him for dust,
He'll be off to the hills like a shot.

I do love the movies from France;
The women with very tight pants
And holsters for guns,
And without stupid puns
All go to the disco to dance.

Since Recumbentman went off on his bike
There's not been as much action as I'd like
I'm reviving this thread
To keep it ahead
For him to find when he returns from his hike

The summer's been awfully hot-
Perhaps that is why we have not
Written limericks of late.
So don't hesitate
Let's resume, let's all give it a shot.

My new writing Prof, V. James
Has problems recalling our names.
She tries for her life and
Remembers some hyphens,
"But no middle names!" she exclaims.

Please let us know Mr Chris
Who on earth Pete Yorn is
What does he do?
Will I like him too?
Thanks for filling me in on this

Pete Yorn is a new rock songwriter,
A singer, guitarist, and quite er
Good one on the drums,
But he cut up his thumbs
Trying to enflame a small lighter.


http://www.peteyorn.com

We are forty-five minutes they say
from Reaper and grim Doomey Day
well, that's what they're saying
but are they just baying
like hounds catching sight of their Prey.

By chance do you speak of Iraq,
And the threat of that nuclear attack?
No sign of whose might
Has as yet come in sight
While of clues there's a singular lack!

But if we're considering doom
In a mood so conducive to gloom,
In March, twenty-fourteen
The last thing to be seen
Is the asteroid - planet earth's tomb!

I think that the dread in his brain
Comes from thoughts of the new Hurricane
Which is deawing rear
And lately I fear
Getting blown up and down in the rain.