h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!
I said that the other day, and now i have to stand while i type this to you.
Can anyone get me a really, really, really comfortable, soft cushion.

Well, I did try to say this sooner, but I was stuck in an airport check-in queue waiting to get home to my computer ...

You may not believe this, but I never have had any problem checking.
Eh? The trick? Ah, an easy one, just arrive seven hours before your flight scheduled time...

Having never had cause to fly, I've never had to check in. However I spend a lot of time just passing the local airport, and I would imagine that worse than the checking in must be the parking, or the paying for it.

This just to clarify, I was talking about the paying of the fees for the car park, not the flying. Just in case someone misunderstands, Sorry.

Has anyone ever thought about the title "Baggage Handlers"? And if so, what did you come up with? And also the fact that "Fragile" tends to be read "Play Football with"? Having travelled with a harp (both fragile and tempramental), I am no stranger to this, and often insist that I see it off, kinda like a parent seeing an UM off.

Playing the harp myself I can only guess at the trauma you must have suffered, assuming it to be a concert harp. I'll stick to my clasarch, which hasn't been further than South Wales.

how do you get them past the metal detectors? it is truely embarrassing having the armed guard wave an electronic stick at you while the machine goes "ping".

"ah! i see you have the machine that goes "ping"!"

The machines may go ping but some of the attendants really pong

i'm not touching that one. not even with a static vibro germ discharge gloved tentical.

Touching is a new age thing. When ping and pong enterered the World Championship pond swimming champs the real contest was who's backside bubbles bubbled top side first

who won?

The one-eyed man from Shanghai
for lunch had a large pie
so he was the one
with the gaseous bum.

I hope the SPCA and the Environmental Protection Agency knows about that man.

Mum and I are trying to stop him introducing endangered Siberian Tigers into the highlands of the South Island of New Zealand to roam and eat the deer, possum and other foreigners who are eating the habitat of endangered NZ birds

are you trying to stop the tigers or the man?

Depends on if the tiger's got his leg or not.

1876, Indians andbuffoloes roaming, British kill free and roaming people, buffaloes surfive, Indians ethnic cleansing, legal , WW1, late, legal WW2 late, legal, WW3 We will as leaders of the free world never be late to start a war

Help! I'm confused.