h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

too late!

Excuse me - No 12 bottle of Heinekin must have been dodgy for me to post previous gibberage

Excuse me - No 12 bottle of Heinekin must have been dodgy for me to post previous gibberage. Good word gibberage - upmarket garbage

let me guess. you're a piolet right?

I am not a pilot or a piolet nor even a pigalet, some would call me a high flyer though others have a lower opinion of me. Lower than a snakes belly button being my favourite.

really! some people call me an outer-space cowboy. some call me the king of love. some even call me moriece....

uses chantilly lace to strangle moiree

you can do anything but lay off of my blue suade shoes.

Stares in amazement at Brox's Swinging Blue Jeans

ok but i don't do bell-bottoms. is it just me or where those the [insert negitive adjective here] things ever invented?

Lovingly places his White Sports Coat upon the upper reaches of the body

Is that the upper torso of the check-in attendant,or the man that goes pong with a machine that goes ping.

hold it! i never ponged the machine. at least not on the first date

lifts his shirt up and pretends to be a milk bottle

Your implying that this person had a milky complexion, yet did not go pong at the pinging machine.
If he didn't go ping why was he returned to the "Fly Mandy" Check -in desk without his shirt.

....staggering on his spaghetti like legs away from pinging, ponging machines towards bar, faints at price of Jack Daniels

And settles for half a shandy, that he had to remortgage his house for.

Stands on tip toes holding 1/2 shandy looking down cleavage showing on Fly Air Mandy poster

Then realises its not a poster, and has gotten a black eye for free from the barmaid. The only thing cheaper in the bar then that is the barmaid herself.

Puts on soiled plastic mac, dark glasses, flashes 2 nuns