h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.h2g2.com/A480764

the first in a series, it's rather funny- in my humble opinion. It's supposed to be comical, so please feel free to laugh.

I'll be working on more of these, and i'll be back to recommend the rest.

sea

This should definitely be in the guide.

Funny, I didn't like it that much. You're a gifted writer, but the subject is too superficial and general to really reach out to a worldwide audience.

You're merely pointing out stereotypes that are popular on TV and film rather than showing any real depth in the subject.

I don't want to be harsh here, but you seem very proud of producing these generalizations into what life is like for segments of the population. One would hope that a teen girl's life wouldn't be so incredibly shallow and without purpose. As a matter of fact, I know a great number of 'popular teenage females' who would be offended by this broad-brush characterization.

You might be able to re-work it, but in its present form, I don't see it heading into the Guide any time soon.

Sorry!

aaah yes, the "serious" view of the popular is different. but personally, i don't like being serious. and that's fine if the entry isn't going into the guide, i don't really care. but i put it here so that people would read it. and i've said before, the entries i write aren't meant to be serious. after all, if i was writing about what REALLY goes on in a "popular" teen female's life, it would consist of three things: getting drunk, having a boyfriend, and fighting with said boyfriend. and THAT is the truth.

Personally I appreciate the very blunt and unadulterated view of ‘popular’ life she has presented.

Hmmmm... how peculiar... ’ was supposed to be a '

I know this is kind of late, but that was pretty funky! I personally hate superficial preps myself, knowing that ALL of them are, being so darned popular. They really make me sick. That was funny. I'm going to go back to playing the Sims now.

While this entry is obviously considered amusing by some, I don't think it really meets the "Factual and Informative" requirements of the edited guide. If you're just wanting people to read the entry, and not seriously trying to get it into the edited guide, there are definitely more appropriate places to post it than peer review.

Mikey

I agree.

right, i got it. thanks, guys.

Overall, I thought it was humorous and well done and the criticisms overdone. It's NOT like we don't have numerous other humorous fluff peices in The Guide. It addresses a valid phenomena found in movies and television world-wide. Perhaps a change of title to something like, "A Day in the Life of the Average TV/Movie Popular Teenage Female" would be more accurate? This would also allow for inclusion of multitudes of examples.

~§~
§hadow - U133044

[From time to time, every man is tempted to hoist the skull and crossbones and slit a few throats.]

not a bad idea, shadow!

Thank you and your welcome or is it, Your welcome and thank you? Ah well be that as it may...keep up the good work!
~§~
§hadow
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/U133044


[From time to time, every man is tempted to hoist the skull and crossbones and slit a few throats.]

title hereby changed.

Alright. I'm a guy so I can't possibly say anything pertinent about this piece of fluff except to say that it sounds like it was written by a guy who thinks he can pass as a non-popular teenage girl trying to send up popular teenage girls with fluff for brains.

I, personally, am fascinated by female viewpoint pieces since they often offer insights into the way that I as a man think. This piece has nothing of value to offer me and that is where I will leave it.

Barton

To be honest, that title actually feels a touch overlong - I know you like long titles sea, but they always seem clumsy to me - they just do!

"A Day in the Life of a Stereotypical Popular Teenage Girl"? Cos it's not really about TV/Movie characters per se, as far as I can see. It's more just the stereotype - it has a grain of real life truth, but of course one wouldn't want to generalise to everyone.

I think a nice trick would be to put times in s - so you do something like:

--
7:00
You wake up one hour earlier than necessary for most people...

8:50
You walk into the hall at school...
--

I dunno - would that make it better or worse? Another change which you might want to consider is whether to write it as "you wake up one hour earlier..." or as "Wake up one hour earlier..." - I'm not sure which way I'd prefer myself - both work well - see what you decide.

It's a nice flowing story, certainly - and if I recall you've already got an entry in this style into the guide? Or do I have that messed up?

barton, i assure you, i am female. although i AM a tomboy. and as for offering insight, i understand neither men nor women, so i can't help you either way. besides, you'll never truly comprehend the opposite sex, you should just try to accept the differences between you and them. and this entry was intended to be humorous, not insightful. if i wanted insightful i'd have to write autobiographical, and i'm not prepared to show my innermost thoughts to the world like that yet.

lucinda- you're right, i have several entries like this, and one of them was accepted into the guide. it was about technical theatre. nice idea about the subheaders, though. that would break it up into a more manageable read... hmm.

Sea,

Before I say anything else, I want to commend your courage in even considering posting *anything* after the way you and your work were butchered the last time. Not everyone, or even most people around here have your courage and stamina. GOOD for you!

Speaking as a former teenage girl, I love it! Of course you are caricaturing. As anyone who either has or knows a teenager (or remembers being one) must realise, teenagers are caricatures by definition. It is part of the excruciating process of Individuating Through Acting Like Everyone Else (well, like not like your PA-rents, DUH!) that is necessary for adolescents. I'd say this is typical of the 12, 13, 14 year old set, but I went to a high school whose graduation photos are mistaken for college photos. It could be, most places, this is more typical of 14-17s. (Where I went to school, by that age, you had entered the Individuation Through Alienating Everyone Else stage, taken up theatre... but I repeat myself, or were a jock and never wore makeup -- and wore the school uniform on purpose, so you didn't have to think about how to dress).

Ideas of things to add, besides Lucinda's headers and subheaders:

Fragrance: (nobody calls it 'perfume', and guys wear 'cologne', at least here in the States) -- the cheesy inexpensive kind, invariably too sweet, for which there was a special at the chemist's, or one of those stinky samples in a mag, so you knew you 'liked' it. Always just a touch more than necessary on... and retouched every time the makeup is, and especially in the cleavage, especially if there isn't much cleavage.

Eating Without Smudging Lip Gloss: an amazing Self-Conscious Girl Trick, involving opening one's mouth very wide, cutting food into tiny pieces, and scraping them off the fork with incisors whilst holding the lips back in a grimace like that of an alarmed chimp.

EmBARrassing: Having a bra strap slide off one shoulder, especially in a class taught by a male teacher, worse in a sleeveless blouse, duh! Any similar event involving undergarments of any kind. NEVER wear white skirts or pants, DUH! A new perm, before it relaxes... ouch! Knowing everybody knows you have cramps.

Heels, walking in: practising at home, trying to walk 'normally', thinking 'don't fall, don'tfall, dontfall' all the way up or down the steps if there's a cute guy within visual range. Wearing shoes that hurt, because, well, they're so co-ol, and not knowing what to do, later, after a few beers, when the Balance Thing is gone.

Learning to smoke: and thinking you're Lauren Bacall, and looking like a little girl who's afraid she's going to be seen (this may not be *as* true of girls today, but teenage girls is the *only* section of the population who are still increasing their tobacco intake).

Nail polish: putting it on too late the night before, and waking up with it all smushed and with sheet-prints in. The ensuing delays and rushes while 'I'm just fixing my nails, I'll only be a sec! GO-od!'

Showers: one and a half hours, or enough time to run the family out of hot water twice.

Little Things to Be Proud of: Having achieved pantyhose, needing to use antiperspirant (Secret, to be sure), leg-shaving, polished toenails in shoes that *show* it, holding out until the *second* ring before answering the phone, First Base, detailed comparison-kissing convos in the bathroom (more important than that dumb old history test, duh!), a really awesome hair day, way cool hair appliances, he called!

Secret Shames: Having to study, *really* needing to use antiperspirant (ARID, extra dry), being topheavy, Third Base, having to borrow cosmetics from, like, your MOM, not being able to walk in heels, being tall, dandruff, really, like bad aim with a lipliner, keeping the rest of the family off the phone all night for no reason, needing a blind date, sleeping in curlers, like, not really KNOWing how to like, FLIRT.

Giggling: It's not just for fun any more... it doesn't go away for years...

_____________________

Aah, that was just an off-the-cuff list. You don't really *need* to add anything, IMO.

I can see the points about this being stereotyping, but Jimi, dahling, I don't know whether you are male or female, but you've obviously never met a teenage girl. I went to an all girls' school, and a women's college. I know these girls. They are totally real, in exactly the ways Sea describes. Actually, they're quite a bit sillier. (Many of us are *still* teenage girls, and *they* giggled.)

*If* you want to make it Guide-able, and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't, just present it as the light caricature of a specific segment of the population of all teenage girls. (The fact is, the disadvantaged, abused-and-neglected teenage girls I used to counsel are more like that than not.) Narrow the demographics down, and make the makeup heavier, or the hair bigger, or the clothes flashier -- or plaid... preppie plaid.

I do agree the title is too long. If it's part of a series, maybe call it 'Thing Series #--: Teen Girl Days' or something.

To the people who dismissed this as frivolous, you have no idEa how SERious teenage girlhood is. Adolescence is a terrible thing to inflict on the young. They should wait, until a person is mature enough to handle it. Since they don't, and are now doing it to younger and younger girls (THAT goes under EmBARrassing: needing a bra at the age of 9 -- real ouch!), the kids do what they can to compensate. Most of what Sea describes here is absolutely *real*. It is funny *because* it is real. Not every girl can afford to live that way, but even the Wards of the State for whom I cared changed both outfits every morning. If they *had* spare money, it went to smokes and cosmetics, in that order. They got evening phone privs, and if you took away someone's phone privs, ooo, you had to have a serious reason. 'She set fire to me' would be one. Staff took away anything before phone privs.

So, like, Sea, you go Girl!

Arpeggio, for LeKZ

I apologize then.

As to accepting the differences, don't I first need to identify them? Or, are you suggesting that I should simply resolve that women in general and girls in particular are totally incomprehensible? I am semi-prepared to accept that.

By the way, welcome back from wherever you have been for so long.



Was that the original title? It's been so long that I really don't remember any more. If so, I should not have written what I wrote.

Actually, this might be the perfect excuse to break the first person rule and retitle the article "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Teen-Age Girl"

That might be VERY interesting and since such scripts are typically written by men, they would be your best source material for about sterotypical attitudes, though women would be best for picking out the ones that are most offensive and aggravating.

Then its on to the companion pieces,"A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Teen-Age Boy," "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Father," "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Mother," "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Boss," "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Secretary" (See Teen-Age Girl), "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Dog" See Teen-Age Boy), "A Day in the Hypothetical Mind of A Television Series Script Writer" (See all the above and add that s/he believes them), etc.

Barton

However, returning to my original disclaimer:

I have to accept what Arpeggio just wrote, maybe you should take the TV/Film qulification out and present it as it stands.

Barton