h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"The crew was complete, it included a Boots,
A maker of bonnets and hoods.
A Barrister brought to arrange their disputes,
And a Broker to value their goods.

A billiard marker whose skill was immense,
(Might perhaps have won more than his share),
But a Banker, engaged at enormous expense,
Had the whole of their cash in his care.

There was also a man who was famed for the things
He forgot when he came on the trip.
His umbrella, his hat, all his jewels and rings,
And the clothes he had brought for the trip.

The loss of his clothes hardly mattered, because
He had twelve coats on when he came.
With nine pair of boots, but the worst of it was
He had wholly forgotten his name!"

I don't claim to recite it verbatum, but I think you can tell the kind of poem that this is. I suggest reading it if you ever get the chance.

Lord Reflection, if you're reading this, get a bloody move on!!!!!!

"He came as a Baker, but owned when too late,
(And it drove the poor Bellman half mad),
He could only make bride-cake, for which I may state,
No materials were to be had.

The next man needs especial remark,
though he seemed an incredible dunce.
He had only one though. But that being, "Snark",
The good Bellman engaged him at one!"

Lord R., I can torture your guests relentlessly. I've got eight fits of the Snark, and after that I might move on to Jabberwocky, or Phantasmagora.

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme,
But this one doesn't."

Not exactly the nicest thing I could be doing, but it passes the time.

do you remember all eight fits? good god man!

a haiku, written by my own fare hand:

supercalifrag
ilisticexpiali
doshus is quite long

genius? i think so

Not too shabby, Uncle Heavy. I was once at a pizza parlor where they had little place mats with games on them. One of the said games was a "pizza poetry" puzzle, including a list of words that could only be used once per poem, and some space to write your poem in. Being the easily amused people that my family consists of, we turned it into a few verses of haiku.

"Pizza, it is me
Delicious pepperoni
Taste the happy crust"

Not the best thing we could come up with, but it was an interesting way to pass the time.

And no, I don't have all eight fits memorized. Pretty much just the first three, and the last one. But I've got a book in my room that I can look at should my memory fail me.

"There was also a Beaver who paced on the deck,
Or sat making lace in the bow,
And had often (the Bellman said) saved them from wreck,
Though none of the sailors knew how.

The next of the crew needs especial remark,
though he seemed an incredible dunce,
He had only one thought. But that being 'Snark',
The good Bellman engaged him at once!

He came as a butcher, and gravely declared
When they had been sailing a week,
He could only kill Beavers. The Bellman looked scared,
And was almost too frightened to speak!

But at last he admitted, in tremulous tone,
There was only one Beaver on board.
And that was a tame one he had of his own,
Who's death would be deeply deplored!"


Here I sit today,
Staring at the computer.
I like staying home.

Attention. This is your host speaking. I sincerely apologize about my recent prolonged and sudden absence. I was having RL difficulties. Will anyone who still pays any attention to this thread be so kind as to check in while I read the backlog? Thankyou so very much.

Alright, I've read the backlog in this thread, and am working on NYC's guestroom. I'm afraid I won't get to post too too often, but now that I've actually read the backlog the overwhelming fear of doing that won't stop me from getting online

I'm looking over the NYC Room thread now.

*raises hand*

Present!

(are you offering me a bribe, or are you stating that you are here?)

Heeeeeeee's Baaaaaaaack!

(LR, since I can't think of reason why it would be necessary to bribe you, you may assume that I was confirming my presence in the thread. However, I reserve the right to offer s in the future should the occasion arise.)

[Quoth the Murkrow] I'm here!

me be here, YO!

I'm he...AAAAHHHHH!!!!

*Continuity Protector Droids emerge from Affy's pockets, punch him a few times, and drag him back to the maze in NYC's room*

lol

I'm not actually here.

*disappears in a puff of logic*

[Quoth the Murkrow] Yaark!

Yaark?

BOO!