h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How do you know we do not already have anatomically correct teletubbies? Who are you to say how a teletubby's body should look? This is exactly the kind of anatomical fascism we at "Equal Rights For Teletubbies" are trying to stamp out.

Damn straight Brother!

Anyway, if Jerry Falwell says Teletubbies are sexy,who are we to argue?

something else that can be used in creating raunchy phrases is quotes. to explain: by using your middle finger and pointer finger on both hands to create visual quotes, combined with the raised eyebrows and suggestive tone of voice, anything can sound rauchy. for example "you going to eat a cracker" believe me it works. note: quotes, eyebrows and so forth can be done just during the word cracker for the same effect.

I must have done the cracker bit wrong. At least I will not have to worry about my eyebrows now. Not until they remove my cast.

Are you seriously trying to suggest that there are four different Teletubby sexes? If so do you get trisexual and quadrisexual Teletubs? If so I don't give them much chance of survival as I would imagine that the size of the gene pool is too low and that the fate of the TTs is sealed without having the presence of non-breeders.

If saying eh-oh hasn't got you into bed with anyone yet, then it's hardly the fault of the Tellytubbies, cos it always works for me. Also, I thought you were supposed to say fnar fnar after some innuendo, I've never heard of this ra ra thing...

Oh err with arm bent at elbow and forearm making obscene
in and out motions whilst you are leering is, so I believe,
irresistable to chicky babes

I thought it was obvious that Laa-Laa and Po were female. They eat their tubby toast so DAMN SLOWLY they couldn't be male. Also notice that Dipsy has a penis-shaped object on his head, and Tinky-Winky has this big macho triangle thing. There can be no dispute...

I have a penis, though not on my head. I used to play the triangle in a band. Does this make me a tellytubbie groupie

Ha! That's an old wives tale. I have tried that one since the age of twelve, even with the nurses on my frequent hospital visits (which seems to enhance the chances of getting a leaky 'bottle', but that's another story), and am now a middle aged virgin.

Next time in hospital try it on an old, long married nurse. Old maids, like old nurses are not getting any and you could get lucky. Incidentally some authoritative sources say sex with a life-size blow-up doll counts as loss of virginity. Just a thought.

No. It makes you a Sesame Street audience member wannabe.

Hey, that's great news! Do blow up sheep count as well (and I'm not talking strays in minefields here, altho they do have the added attraction of being warm'n'juicy)? Mmmmmmm!

Sheep should count but you would be better of with Kangaroos - Remenber that old Rolf Harris song - Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport

In most cases, one does not even need the oh err and ra ra at all. One can make a comment sound sexual by simply changing the tone of one's voice, and possibly adding "know what I mean" to the end of the remark.
EG: He finished his book, know what I mean?

Lying down nude in public places surrounded by sexually suggestive signs has been proven to be a turn off to the average mail and australians

Sooo, the only way to determine if a Teletubby is truly female is to observe the slow rate at which she eats toast. Is this something to do with breeding? And if so do you also get fast breeder weeactors?

Goes and has a piping hot cup of tea. Watches the Brownian Motion with childlike glee.

They put your eyebrows in a cast?!