h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What we need is someone who has made it to the *NEXT* level to send back some cheats.

I thought someone had, 2000 years ago.

My joy stick must be broken!

The first successful use of CPR?

Cardio-Pulmonary-Resuscitation or Crusty-Protrusions-of-the-Rectum?

Yeah, but bad people just rot in jail!

Yeah, but bad people just rot in jail! The best policy is to mediocre and then you live to a nice old age after enjoying a nice comfy pension

Most likely the former

Otherwise it's a nasty case of boils

The reason I don't just want to contemplate cellular inactivity & inevitable decomposition is because I don't believe I am my body! My mind is not my brain, my soul is not my heart! Whatever "I" is, it is not this collection of calcium infrastructure & solid emulsion of fat protein & water! I am my memories, my attitudes, my beliefs, my hopes, my likes, dislikes, fears, joys! I believe these will continue in some form after my heart stops beating and my brain expires due to oxygen deprivation! I know it's scientifically virtually impossible, which therefore means it's a finite improbability!

As for Christian bias - the Islamic afterlife with the houris & sherbets should be attractive to male researchers... The Happy Hunting Grounds of the Great Spirit also sound nice... Contemplating one's navel unless one becomes reincarnated as a lower lifeform is probably not so good....

Stupid bad people rot in jail;
Smart bad people get very rich and powerfull;
And senile or moronic bad people become leaders of countries.

Whomsoever it was that mentioned Vallhalla in passing is right - to the Norse peoples, death was made to sound so good that someone had the bright idea of making suicide one of the barriers of entry to the massive beer hall, filled with lusty, busty valkyries, salt-of-the-earth warriors, and not a fruit machine in sight. Kind of like a proto-Met. bar. Anyhoo, suicides were chucked out of Valhalla by Odin (odd that the owner, and not the bouncers, did this) to roam about in the icy wastelands, listening to the fantastic time being had by all inside. Once again, like a proto-Met. bar.
In fact, if the Norse peoples had included that the dead had to fight their way through a throng of annoying photographers to get in, it would be exactly like it, and the Christian dogma of the preceding 'mails would be overwhelmed by people swapping ideas on how to die honourably as soon as possible, and if someone else was successful before them, could they please put them on the guestlist?
Really, if the Viking's polytheistic beliefs were still held today, then the North of Europe would be constantly picking fights with the rest of the world, and losing them on purpose to get to "where the party at". Kind of like an underachieving U.S. of A.......

Personally, I think an eternity of anything (even blissful meals among busty women) would be a
fate worse than death.

Yeah, I'd agree there... Get a bit boring, wouldn't it? Even with a huge range of things to do, how could you wind enough to do to last you forever?

What about reincarnation? If you believe that you'll come back as a postman or a tarantula or a bacteria, you might be a little more positive about death. It would be awfully interesting to find out what a bacteria gets out of life.

some exhilarating chemotactic reactions and a relatively quick death

The thing about death is that it excites your curiosity because its like birthdays when you`re a kid, you want to find out whats gonna happen!

It certainly doesn't excite mine. Increases anxiety: yes, but curiosity: no.

Okay, follow me on this:
Life is extremely enjoyable.
Death is the end of Life.
Therefore Death is the end of things being extremely enjoyable.
Therefore, the end of things being extremely enjoyable is Death.
Therefore, the best way to avoid Death is to never stop having fun.
If you have fun your entire life and still die, feel free to let me know what parts of this theory are wrong.

Lares: Does that mean that if you think life sucks it is actually death and death is actually life?