h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Death is a bit like the english rock group Kula Shaker. It's greatly over-rated and most people who have
seen it think they have seen it before. One of the best ways to avoid death, which is a highly recommended
course of action unless you are feeling particularly adventurous that afternoon, is by failing to do anything even
slightly dangerous. Many people who perform in an "heroic" manner, by scaling tall mountains for instance, believe
they have "cheated" death. This would be more literally true if they failed to carry out the dangerous enterprise in the
first place and thereby gave death no chance of winning.

An even better way of avoiding death is to be incredibly bad,
because, as we all know, "Only the good die young".

The trouble with avoiding death by skipping anything dangerous is that this practise itself is dangerous.

By example... 60 people a year die getting out of bed, a similar number expire prematurely by being electricuted whilst switching off their alarm clock. Life is dangerous and will inevitably lead to that most terminal illness, Death. The real problem though is that hundreds of people actually kill themselves each year (Presumably different people, not the same ones each year!) by falling down the stairs. On this basis if you can't risk getting out of bed or going down the stairs, or perhaps turning off your alarm clock then you are in great danger of starving to death or indeed finally comitting suicide as a result of the madness inflicted by the constant bleeping of your alarm clock.

Alternatively, you could extend your life expectancy by climbing mountains, base jumping, drinking meths, and most importantly sleeping standing up in a bungalow until you wake up naturally.

As but you have all forgotten the best way to cheat Death shown brilliantly by Red Dwarf is to knee him where it hurts and run off laughing

Remember death is the cure to all diseases so it must be good for you, I think.

Good or bad - like taxes, it is inevitable! I prefer having a modicum of say over my life - more especially over the inevitable, but alas.....inevitable is inevitable nes' pas?

I have been considering my attitude towards life for some time now, and your post raises an interesting question. If the good die young does that mean that the bad ALWAYS die old. To whit, should I change my character completely and be bad all the time in the hope that I live to a good old age.
Following on from this, does you comment mean that the Queen Mother has been bad all her life, or has she been kneeing death in the bollocks a lot as well?

I have never heard of someone coming back for the dead so it must be a nice place to be. otherwise no one would do it.

One can only surmise . . .

Well, there was supposed to be one notable exception . . .

Maybe he left his sandals behind?

Possibly .The way I feel I may already be there or do I just need to go to bed Probable

The trouble with death is that you're dead !

How would you know? After all, the light at the end of the tunnel could just be like the little spot that goes out last on your telly...

Sorry, you're probably all too young to remember that!

Death is the and unknown end to what we know as life, and as I for one enjoy life I would rather avoid Death!

I find this article to be heavy biased towards Christian dogma and it's perspective on death. What ever happened
to the simple, unbiased biological definition of death which involves the cessation of cellular respiration (with
no religious strings attached)?

Or the Nordic variant: the all-boozing, all-wenching, All-Father Odin's eternal piss-up.

Sounds good to me

Cheers, Evil!

no man fears being dead. Only the stroke of death itself.

as someone once said. Which begs the question what is so scary about death stroking technique

Haven't you noticed the boney fingers?

Death isn't so bad really, it's just that it lasts for soooo long.