h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's a whole new level on Dante. I am curious, the film was 'Being Human' I must get the DVD
I still enjoy watching Angel Heart, as always the significance of the lift eludes most

It is not a film it is on BBC3 and you may get back episodes on Iplayer.
http://bbc.co.uk/i/r59vw/

I don't have to go to Hell to waste time waiting for my ticket to be called.

You get tickets everywhere round here now, and it is hell to see the numbers click one by one and then to skip past yours.

The government invented hell and officials who whisper and when in close proximity start passing secret notes on little slips of paper.

They now give you a copy of your notes but I forgot mine, the official mistakenly said it is ok and gave me hers. They were different and said I left school aged fifteen to become an apprentice, on pointing out this obvious error was told; we are right and you are wrong, if you challenge it in court all that will happen is a note will go beside the record that it was challenged but the record will still stand.

So there's me in the school photo aged fifteen, took 'o' levels at sixteen and stayed on for 'A' levels with a letter from an Air Commodore stating I required 2 A grades in one year to stand a chance of getting in the air force when in reality I was an apprentice without any qualifications to my name at all.

This is hell.

The question is, have you accumulated pension credits? If so, you might be able to retire comfortably someday, and it won't matter as much what errors are in your files.

No no no, no pension. I used to work for more than one employer at the same time and non of them had perks like pensions. Didn't get paid enough for a private one either and I'm already retired.

I'm glad you can manage to get by, then.