h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So far, I dislodged the hook from the ceiling, where the kitchen lamp hung. Because the lamp was really dirty and needed a wipedown.

But hooks can be replaced, so no problem.

Then I went to clean the glass lampshade, which had lots of kitchen grease, dust and stearin from candles on it.
It was very clean indeed, and when I rinsed it, I happened to knock it agains the kitchen tap while rinsing it, and it got a big crack, almost edge to center.

But glass lampshades can be replaced, so no big harm.

So I continued to clean the table, and wash the plastic bowl I used to rinse the scrubbing sponge for the lamp. And placed the plastic bowl in the drying rack where my big blue glass bowl was drying off. And the glass bowl fell, landed with a crash on the floor. And broke in 19 major pieces and a million shards.

Any bets on what next goes wrong? The goose we will be cooking for dinner guests? Additional china or glassware breaking? A little fire of the candles? Or will I blurt out completely rude statements, having no clue that they might be hurtful?

Have you considered it might be safer for everyone concerned, not least yourself if you just hid in your bed for the rest of the day?

Rass-blorgin-fark-bargers! Great Horny Toads! Heavens to Mergatroid!

B4thisdevolvesintoaTouretteSyndromeshoutingmatch

go for the rude statements - I quite like the above mentioned rude statements

and they'll make you feel GOOD !

I think 2legs is right - go to bed and let someone else handle the cooking and stuff

I thought I would, but eating reduced the clumsiness, and I have managed to put a goose in the oven now. Day is not over though...

at all the bad words...
I usually manage to be rude like "Oh, I really really dislike tattoos. They are so unintelligent and ugly, and make me feel sick" only to be informed that my conversation partner has five butterfly tatoos, because they mean so much to them for some personal reason. Along those lines. I don't mean to hurt, but it goes wrong anyway, when I stop thinking.

Let's see what I can knock over now - I need to vacuum the stair and upper floor.

Ah yes, we have the right smiley for that too.
Happens to me on occasion.