h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Soilcreep - a name to conjure with - Rob and Pete on guitars, Frank on drums, me doing most of the singing. We might have had a bass player too, but they always get forgotten first.

It was what turned out to be our one and only gig, about thirty years ago, and they kept changing the dates. Who were we going to support? Van der Graaf Generator? Somebody completely unknown? It turned out to be Audience - pretty good but now totally forgotten.

In the weeks before the performance we had friends working up the support. Several of them were touring the record shops searching for our output, which was of course not even a glimmer in an A&R man's eye at the time.

Most were turned away with a knowing smirk, but one - this may be an urban myth but I choose to believe it - had the following exchange:
"Have you got Soilcreep's first album?" "I don't think so..." thoughtfully, "but we may have some of the others." I tell you, we felt big for seconds.

The performance wasn't bad, though the only song I can half remember was Rob's "Punctured Abyss", the drug poem he'd got into the school magazine. We couldn't work out how to end the set, though, so I was deputed to go and pull the plugs out. It would have worked fine, except that Frank and I failed to exchange signals and he kept on drumming for a few embarrassing beats.

I'm sure there must be others out there with less-than-great memories you can smile at now.