h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

St. GB walks out of the manor & up to an open space.
Here, St. Bob helps her with piles of wood, leaves, anything that will burn. They stack it neatly & silently.
GB returns much later with some American chocolates {?} and throws them on the top of the yet-unlit bonfire.

*Dissapers for a second then reappers with a bg full of Cds and vinal records*
I have been waghting for a chnce to get rid of this.
*Carries on stacking wood nd brings over a bottle of petol*
Just to make shure everything burns well.

*sneaks up on GB and bob*
can i burn some stuff too?
*holds up a bulging black bag*
just some stuff i really need to be rid of...

Carry on whats in the bag any way

*mysterious smile*
if i told you, i'd have to kill you.
*throws the bag onto the top of the heap*
by the way, don't open the bag.
*grin*

*GB returns with some old clothes.
{of Lord M.K*'s}...
*throws them on the pile.

*Sneaks out when no-one's looking*
*opens the bag*
Oh my God, it's a Bod...AAGGHHHHHHHH
*Will Slumps to the floor, with a bullet wound in the chest*
*Although not very dead, then very actually dead*

*wanders out and chucks a bag full of paint-covered gowns on the bonfire*
*mutters- you try and try but it won't come out. You'd think Angels' gowns would be unstainable but noooooo*
*rolls her eyes at Will playing dead*
Get up dummy- we can't be killed, remember? You can't kill your virtual self, and our virtual selves are angels...
Stop playing silly buggers
*holds out a hand to help him to his feet*

OH leave him alone if he wants to play dead for a wile you may as well let him
*piles up more bottles of petrol so they now have about 6 gallons*
I think that should be enough to start it off dont you.

~sneaks out of the Manor and throws something on the fire, then goes back in~

~comes back out, picks it up again and takes it away~

*GB clatters out & looks under the ever-growing pile for nesting hedgehogs

*nudges will with her toe*
told you not to look in the bag.
*kneels down when no one is looking and touches his temple, erasing his memory*
have a nice day, mr jenkins.

Ha caught you at last. They always fall for the old dummy on the bonfire trick.
*Flies away to aler certain people of thier fate. Well actually, Flies away to play silly buggers with Tweetie*

*GB checks that the bonfire is dry then goes to check the fireworks
*starts putting the fireworks in place.
Thinks: I wonder where Bob is? He said he'd help me with this job.

~reappears, digs a small hole in the bonfire debris and buries something~

Hi Galaxy Babe.
When are the fireworks starting?

*Walks in to vew looking a little batterd. carrieng a bax with a fadded label saying "Granpar smiths specal rockets"*
sorry I am late I had to go see the fmilly.
*Picks a rocket out of the box sets it up reddy to fly and lights the paper*
Just testing thats ment to be the worst one any way.
*the rocket launches itself 20 feet in to the air befor explading. the collerd sparks form a ginger cat the size of the mannor the hangs in the air for a full minet befor dissapering. Bob grins*
Grandad always did know how to make fier works.
*starts setting out the restof them*
will someone go to my bike and get the other three boxes like this one and there is a lardge red box with a padlock on it bring that as well please.

*Notices GB arriving, hastely disappears to 'get the boxes'*

Stand back everyone! Time to light the bonfire!
*lights bonfire
*Bob throws more petrol on, then goes to light the fireworks.
Everyone stands around warming their hands as the fire takes hold, crackling & spitting, GB passes out marshmallows & long sticks.

*Ahhhhh Ohhhhhh Wow*
Stop a minute Tweetie, the fireworks are about to begin

Is there food?
Jacket potatoes baked in embers, and roast chestnuts?