h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, it's me. Doug. No, not DNA, Doug Hite. I'm quite a fan of yours. Sin, evil, all beautiful work. I was just wondering a few things. Do you have anything to say to God. Do you have any realationship to God. I mean the h2g2 one. The really nice one that's buddies with all of us angels. And last, but not least, is there a non-smoking and/or air-conditioned part of hell for me???

If you're a fan of mine, why not leave your foolish God and join me! Go on, you know you want to.

Anything to say to God? I have no comment at this time, except, 'BwahahahaHAAA!!!'.

To be honest - which you wouldn't expect from me - I have no link with the researcher 'GOD' except that I saw his name and thought it would be cool to create a 'SATAN'.

There is a special part of hell for you, yes. You will be carefully kept in a room of spikes, breathing foul second-hand tobacco-and-brimstone smoking air for the rest of eternity. Bwahahahaaaaa!!!!

I need to work on this evil laugh. It's starting to sound camp.

Ok, that's cool... Except for the tobacco smoke-filled room with spikes in it. Does it have AC? Tell me if this is just an urban legend. In Hell, is there always Polka music playing? And exactly what are the qualifications for going to Hell? Can I not be Christian and be the nicest guy on Earth and go to heaven? If not, Hell must be pretty crowded. So, I'll see you... soon enough....

Unfortunately for me, God is totally just and fair. Boring isn't He.

There is NO AC in Hell. So there. BwhaHAHAHAAA!!! And we do have a good number of Polka records, as well as the entire collection of Westlife songs.

There is a Virtual Patio Machine available at the Aroma Café. And VALIS may have some ideas about where you can smoke.

Ah, Stan!!! err... Satan... Long time no see!!! Not that anyone's seen you in 2000 years or anything.... I thought I'd make fun of your immature evil-in-training personality.... I was more evil when I was 3!!!! You're just like some punk kid who tears wings off of flies!!!! And plus, you're the only person lower than me at The Church of the True Brownie!!! TAKE THAT!!! And last, but not least; go to Hell!!! Wait, you're already there!!! *Bad Satan impression, "Look at me, I'm Satan!!! I'm all happy that I'm surrounded my nerds and lawyers in a big cesspool of fire and hatred!!! Whoopadeedoooo!!!!"* Catch ya later.

*Flies away in a nice, cool cloud of holiness and rock and roll*

(sulks)

(throws a bolt of lightening after Lizard Prince)

*smiles at the prince (or princess, as it were,) of evil*

Hello Satan!